Why did my father abandon me?

My father left my mother before I was born. They had a good relationship and were happy, but then my mom became pregnant with me. She had trouble telling my father, who was only eighteen at the time, and said she didn't expect him to play a role in my life. So, he left.

I've never seen him or spoken to him in my life. I have no idea what he looks like or who he is and he seems to have no desire to have anything at all to do with me. In fact, he ditched town the day after he found out. I'm mad... I'm mad at my mother for making it so easy for him to leave and I hate that man for what he did. I'm still young and even I can't imagine deserting a child and leaving them without a parent for their entire life. But then maybe that's because I know how it feels and I would never put anyone through that kind of pain. As a girl, I suppose it's hard to understand. Perhaps you can help me to understand his reasoning?


Is fear of dietary fat considered an eating disorder?

Are there other types of eating disorders other than anorexia and bulimia? For example, I have this fear of unnecessary fat in food and eat everything "plain," that is, without butter, oil, dressing, or sauce, etc. I thought that it's good that I'm this health conscious, but my friends say that it's a little obsessive. Is this an eating disorder?


Where can I find the birth control sponge and what’s the efficacy rate?

1) I've always used condoms combined with a sponge for birth control. That worked well because if anything happened with the condom, there was always a backup — it made me feel safer. Then I get to New York, I go into three drug stores, and none of them have sponges. Now what? I don't want to rely on just condoms, I don't want to take pills because the whole hormone thing is rather frightening, and a doctor said that diaphragms make you more prone to get urinary tract infections, which I get frequently. So what am I supposed to do? What's up with this total absence of sponges?

2) In exploring other forms of contraception, what is the reliability rate of the "sponge"?


Is there a cure for inverted nipples?

1) I am a male with inverted nipples.

I was wondering if there is any way without surgery to make them come out. They do sometimes come out when it's cold, but go straight back in. I am not overweight, but I do no sports. Would physical activities help???

2) I have inverted nipples. Is there anything that I can do to make them come out? I think that they are unattractive inverted. I have tried massaging them daily as doctors and magazines have suggested, but they do not stay out. They have only come out a couple of times when my boyfriend has sucked on them. Is there something wrong with them? One doctor said that I might have to get a minor surgical procedure.


Why am I getting nauseous when I'm weightlifting?

It's been about three months since I worked out regularly. I find that lifting for strength (i.e. 80% of max for 5-8 reps) causes me to feel nauseated about 3/4 through the workout sometimes, so that I can't bring myself to finish. I took a weight training course last semester and was affected the same way every once in a while. I warm up, stretch before and after, breath when I lift, drink plenty of water, take care not to eat 1 hour before working out, skip a day between workouts, don't lift more than I can handle (I reduced the weight from what I ended on in the class to a seemingly suitable weight. I got a 98 in the class incidentally). What's going on?


How can I approach my friend about her constant competitiveness?

My "best friend" of almost 4 years now has always been competitive, but it's never been something we've discussed. Every time I'm wearing something trendy or saying something new, she will do the same thing. When we used to run in aerobics class, she would constantly try to beat my scores. I confronted her about that, but she never seems to learn — she still copies me and competes with everything from grades to guys. If I address the problems I've had in the past, I will look stupid because usually I would be the type to bring it up, but my life was too hectic at the time. Should I really "waste" time talking to her about her competitiveness? Or, is there a way to hint at it or persuade her to do something original?


Does fear of another sex impact my sexuality?

I am a woman who has always been attracted to other women. Until recently, I was attracted to men as well. Now I am almost exclusively attracted to women... which would be fine, except that I think this attraction has a lot to do with painful experiences I’ve had with men. When I was younger, my father was dominant and somewhat abusive, and my first boyfriend was emotionally manipulative and pressured me to have sex with him. After breaking things off with him, I had a very positive sexual relationship with a woman. Am I a lesbian, or am I a bisexual who is just afraid of men? If the latter is true, is there any way to get over this fear?


Can I treat depression on my own?

I'm a first year college student. Since the holidays I started experiencing a very strong horrible feeling; so horrible I preferred to die than to keep on feeling it (the suicidal thoughts come and go still, but it's not as strong as in the beginning). It's very puzzling though because I don't have a reason to feel like this, not one that I know of at least.

I thought of going to a psychologist, or psychiatrist, but I don't have money to do so, and I thought that maybe I should try curing myself first. Is there any way to try to fight depression by myself? Also, if I don't have a reason to feel depressed, what reasons could there be for what's happening to me? I read in other things you wrote to people that depression may be also caused by chemical imbalances in the brain. How do I know if that's happening to me?


Are there any nutritional benefits to swallowing semen?

1) I'm worried. What happens if you eat your own sperm?

2) Today a girlfriend and I were discussing the nutritional value of sperm. While performing oral sex, if you swallow, I was told that it is very high in protein. However, I was also informed that it is very high in calories. This may seem like a weird question, but I would like to know what nutritional benefits are involved when "swallowing" and how many approximate calories are in a man's ejaculation? Thank you for your help in this matter.


Why isn't my weightlifting resulting in muscle definition?

I am a 22-year-old male who began weight lifting two years ago to get into shape. The problem is I'm still not in shape. I can lift huge amounts of weight, but instead of having a chiseled body, I still look like a fat guy. I mean, I'm big and strong, but I look like I was sculpted from lard (I'm 5'11 and 215 pounds). I do roughly 30 minutes of aerobic activity and about 90 minutes on the weights. Should I change my activity and diet to get leaner?


How can I take care of my nails if I’m a chronic nail biter?

I am curious as to whether the nail bed regenerates or not. I used to bite my nails, and slowly I've bitten off some of the nail bed as well, on all ten fingers. It has been two years, and the nail bed does not seem to grow back, and my nails grow according to the new shape of the nail bed. It makes my hands look somewhat ugly, to be honest.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.


What are the symptoms of a heart attack?

1) I've heard that the symptoms for heart attack differ for men and women. Could you please send me info on these differences? Also could you give me some possible diagnosis for a feeling of heaviness in the chest?

2) Is it possible to have a heart attack without knowing you're having a heart attack?


Is stress causing my chest pain?

1) For the past year now, I have been getting sharp chest pains. Sometimes it feels like I am about to have a heart attack. I find it painful to breathe for the couple of seconds that it happens. The sharp pains occur mostly in the lung/heart area. However, I have also felt them in the lower chest area as well. I don't know what is causing this.

Also, it occurs most frequently during the school year. I should also note that during the school year, I tend to eat greasy fatty foods. However, I had my cholesterol level checked (95) which is low. These pains come any time of day, while I am sleeping, walking, sitting, etc. I am 21-year-old female, if that helps.

By the way, I have a doctor's appointment back home later this month. But I want to have an idea why this happening. Others mentioned to me things about stress, something about a dog's heart, and I was even thinking that it might be cancer.

2) I've recently been experiencing chest pains in the sternum area. Although I don't believe it is related to heart trouble, I think the pain is originating from the bones or muscles attached to the sternum. I have seen doctors but most are clueless as to where the pain may be specifically originating. An interesting side is that during times of stress, the pain is more severe and concentrated at specific points along the sternum. One hypothesis is that the pain may be related to an injured sterno-manubrial joint. If indeed this is the case, what therapy is available to a poor, uninsured student? My mental health is being affected since my once pumped-up, rock hard body is slowly atrophying since I can't lift weights without extreme pain. I'm depressed because the size of my chest is now smaller. What do I do? What's wrong with me?


Is it harmful to sleep on my side?

Is sleeping on our left side in any way harmful for the heart (or anything else)? Some people tell me we shouldn't do it and others tell me it's actually better than sleeping on our right side. What's the truth?

Thanks!


How can I measure my heart rate and exercise intensity?

1) I work out on my treadmill 20 to 30 minutes a day, usually one to two miles. My husband says that there is a minimum and maximum heart rate. Is there a formula that I can use to calculate this information? Please advise.

2) Is there an equation that would relate the relationship between exercise and heart rate. I understand the maximum and minimum heart rate equations for exercising. I would like to know if someone who is at their max. heart rate would be able to predict their heart rate if they increased their intensity. I am looking for something relating work intensity to heart rate.


How can I tell my religious parents that I'm a lesbian without them disowning me?

I have a question that I am very afraid to ask anyone else. I am a 21-year-old college student who has been in a three year lesbian relationship with my college roommate. We are both deeply in love with each other and when it came time to tell her parents about our relationship, they were very supportive of our decision. My parents, on the other hand, are a different story. I was brought up in a very strict Roman Catholic family, where homosexuality is very much frowned upon. How can I tell my parents that I am a lesbian and make them understand without disowning me?


Why do I get a yeast infection every time I have my period?

I am a 26-year-old female and have started getting a yeast infection every month without fail at the end of my period. This started about a year ago and I've cut back on eating bread, I don't eat much sugar and I rarely drink beer. I read online that someone recommended using a douche just before and after starting my period. Is this a reasonable thing to try? I've always been very opposed to douching but I'm sick of the itching and don't want to have to take medication or use cream every month. Any suggestions?