How may having spina bifida affect sex?

1) I'm 20 years old. I have spina bifida and I can walk perfectly normal but I have incontinence with my bladder. I get a lot of urinary tract infections, too. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now. I am kind of worried about having sex with him because I always pee myself. I was wondering what I should do to stop getting these infections so I get be comfortable during sex and not have to think that I will pee on the bed.

2) I have been friends with a guy who has spina bifida for a while now, and recently, things took a turn for the better — we are just starting a relationship. I know that he has sensation below his waist, and can get an erection, but I wondered if there is anything about how his disability will affect our sex life. I am anxious for it to be pleasing for both of us, and although we are open enough for me to ask him questions, I would like to go in prepared so to speak! Is there anything that will be able to help me in making sure that the first time for us won't be awkward, uncomfortable or downright crap?!


How do I communicate that I’m about to ejaculate during oral sex?

I tried looking through all of the letters, and even tried searching, but I didn't see anything pertaining to this:

I've never had a blow job, but would like one...some day...:) I was wondering, if, when you peak, if it's acceptable to just let yourself cum inside the person's mouth? Should you give a warning? Should you attempt to restrain from it?

I realize this question may sound rather juvenile, but who else can I turn to?


Why did my father abandon me?

My father left my mother before I was born. They had a good relationship and were happy, but then my mom became pregnant with me. She had trouble telling my father, who was only eighteen at the time, and said she didn't expect him to play a role in my life. So, he left.

I've never seen him or spoken to him in my life. I have no idea what he looks like or who he is and he seems to have no desire to have anything at all to do with me. In fact, he ditched town the day after he found out. I'm mad... I'm mad at my mother for making it so easy for him to leave and I hate that man for what he did. I'm still young and even I can't imagine deserting a child and leaving them without a parent for their entire life. But then maybe that's because I know how it feels and I would never put anyone through that kind of pain. As a girl, I suppose it's hard to understand. Perhaps you can help me to understand his reasoning?


Does fear of another sex impact my sexuality?

I am a woman who has always been attracted to other women. Until recently, I was attracted to men as well. Now I am almost exclusively attracted to women... which would be fine, except that I think this attraction has a lot to do with painful experiences I’ve had with men. When I was younger, my father was dominant and somewhat abusive, and my first boyfriend was emotionally manipulative and pressured me to have sex with him. After breaking things off with him, I had a very positive sexual relationship with a woman. Am I a lesbian, or am I a bisexual who is just afraid of men? If the latter is true, is there any way to get over this fear?


Can I treat depression on my own?

I'm a first year college student. Since the holidays I started experiencing a very strong horrible feeling; so horrible I preferred to die than to keep on feeling it (the suicidal thoughts come and go still, but it's not as strong as in the beginning). It's very puzzling though because I don't have a reason to feel like this, not one that I know of at least.

I thought of going to a psychologist, or psychiatrist, but I don't have money to do so, and I thought that maybe I should try curing myself first. Is there any way to try to fight depression by myself? Also, if I don't have a reason to feel depressed, what reasons could there be for what's happening to me? I read in other things you wrote to people that depression may be also caused by chemical imbalances in the brain. How do I know if that's happening to me?


Why isn't my weightlifting resulting in muscle definition?

I am a 22-year-old male who began weight lifting two years ago to get into shape. The problem is I'm still not in shape. I can lift huge amounts of weight, but instead of having a chiseled body, I still look like a fat guy. I mean, I'm big and strong, but I look like I was sculpted from lard (I'm 5'11 and 215 pounds). I do roughly 30 minutes of aerobic activity and about 90 minutes on the weights. Should I change my activity and diet to get leaner?


Is stress causing my chest pain?

1) For the past year now, I have been getting sharp chest pains. Sometimes it feels like I am about to have a heart attack. I find it painful to breathe for the couple of seconds that it happens. The sharp pains occur mostly in the lung/heart area. However, I have also felt them in the lower chest area as well. I don't know what is causing this.

Also, it occurs most frequently during the school year. I should also note that during the school year, I tend to eat greasy fatty foods. However, I had my cholesterol level checked (95) which is low. These pains come any time of day, while I am sleeping, walking, sitting, etc. I am 21-year-old female, if that helps.

By the way, I have a doctor's appointment back home later this month. But I want to have an idea why this happening. Others mentioned to me things about stress, something about a dog's heart, and I was even thinking that it might be cancer.

2) I've recently been experiencing chest pains in the sternum area. Although I don't believe it is related to heart trouble, I think the pain is originating from the bones or muscles attached to the sternum. I have seen doctors but most are clueless as to where the pain may be specifically originating. An interesting side is that during times of stress, the pain is more severe and concentrated at specific points along the sternum. One hypothesis is that the pain may be related to an injured sterno-manubrial joint. If indeed this is the case, what therapy is available to a poor, uninsured student? My mental health is being affected since my once pumped-up, rock hard body is slowly atrophying since I can't lift weights without extreme pain. I'm depressed because the size of my chest is now smaller. What do I do? What's wrong with me?