My oldest daughter died in a motor vehicle accident seven months ago. I have a husband and three other daughters. I am very depressed. Some days I think I won't make it. Some days I don't want to. I know that my life has been changed forever, but what can I do to help ease the pain — and to help me "move on" with my life?

How can I reduce stress as school begins?

I am 20 years old and recently lost my virginity to my boyfriend of six months. Before this happened, I strongly believed that I would wait until marriage because of both personal and religious reasons. My boyfriend completely understood my morals but then pushed the limits after only one month together and I didn't stop him. Not to mention we had sex before we told each other, "I love you." I regretted my decision the moment it happened. I know (now) that he loves me and I love him, but I still believe that what we are doing is wrong. I hate lying and that is exactly what I am doing by being dishonest with my family and peers. He acts so hurt when we do not have sex but I don't want to anymore. How can I tell him that I want to put an end to our sexual relationship?

All the people in my major seem to breeze through homework, tests, and absorb every lecture like they've heard it a million times. This leads me to believe that I might have chosen the wrong major, even though it is what I really want to do. I'm already a senior, so changing majors now is out of the question for me, since I've already made all the arrangements for graduation. I know I will graduate with a very low GPA... not even high enough to get into graduate school in my major. The coursework that I'm headed towards in my last two semesters seems like total rocket science to me and asking for help, even from close friends in my major, is very embarrassing. I normally wouldn't mind asking my friends for help, but they have very belittling things to say about other people who don't understand the concepts. Plus, everyone that tutors for my major is also in my classes, so asking for help there is also impossible. I feel that if I don't get help and start understanding things essential to my major, I will completely abandon the idea of going to graduate school, or even trying to get a job related to my major. I don't want four years of schooling to go to waste... what should I do?

Recently, during a phone conversation with my boyfriend, he told me that he turned the volume up on his phone. Soon after, he began to masturbate, while he was talking. I am well aware of phone sex, but the conversation never came up. I had no idea what to say to him. It was very loud and there was no mistaking those sounds. Should I confront him or let it go? Do many men find this satisfying? He complains about not being able to sleep. Could this have something to do with this?

I go to a college that offers free counseling to students. While I would like to take advantage of this, I feel that my pride is getting in the way of getting any help that I may need. I’m afraid of someone seeing me walk into the office, and someone seeing me in the waiting room of the office as well. (The door is left open). Any ideas on how I go about this? I'm also worried because a guy I know and work with, also works in there. He is the obnoxious, jock-type and going in there while he is working, is a concern of mine — also, if he sees that I have an appointment.

In the past I have self-mutilated and recently there has been a lot of added stress to my life. I've heard about wearing a rubber band on your wrist as an alternative. I was just curious are there any downsides to this method, as an example I have been doing this for a week now and I have gotten a bruise on my hand, it probably isn't from me snapping the rubber band but I was just wondering if there is anything I should know about this method? Thanks

I've always been something of a hypochondriac, although my friends and family know nothing about it. As a child, I would regularly convince myself that I had appendicitis. As a teenager, I worried about being pregnant despite never having had vaginal intercourse. As a college student, I worked in a hospice for late-stage AIDS patients. Although I never had contact with blood or semen, I convinced myself that I may have contracted HIV somehow by doing their laundry with some kind of minor cuts on my hands I never noticed, or because a patient drooled on my hands. I've been tested at least three times since then, but I still haven't gotten over it and am nervously preoccupied with the idea that I have infected the whole two people that I've ever slept with. At the moment, I'm also convinced I have cancer. I *know* I'm completely wrong about all of this... I know, I know. And get this: I'm in medical school now. It's only going to get worse. Help me!

Your advice to "Surround yourself with positive, healthy people" is good. But this is part of my insecurities. It seems that everyone will want to surround themselves with positive, healthy people; but if I'm not healthy mentally, why should people want to be around me? I fear I'm excluded because, even when I try to hide my insecurities, they still show and people don't want to be around a "downer." Any advice on this aspect?

It seems like me and several friends have been going through a bit of disappointment/boredom with life after graduation. I work long hours and am too tired to socialize like I did when I was in school. I was just wondering if there's such a phenomenon of post-college depression?

I can't handle it when people chew or drink near me, unless they are completely silent. It makes me so angry, sometimes to the point of wanting to lash out, and I don't know why! Is there a reason or am I just weird?

I read many advice columns and have never seen this issue addressed before. I am always late for work, church, etc... I have always considered myself just not a morning person, but I'm basically late for everything. It drives everyone crazy!! What can I do to get out of this "habit," if I can call it this!! I do like my job, but just don't want to get out of bed, mostly because I just don't feel rested. So I get speeding tickets getting to work and now I'm afraid I may soon be getting in trouble at work!! Any advice would be helpful. I'm sure there are many other people like myself!! The worse part of this is how my mornings at work are ruined because I feel so bad I'm late and try to compensate for this, which just causes more stress. I'm worried that I will not get a good reference if I do move to a new better paying job! Thanks in advance for answering my question!!

Are there any techniques for controlling crying? I doubt that my problem requires clinical attention; however, it frequently manifests itself as a serious handicap. During conflicts (particularly with professional superiors or with significant others), I find myself unable to defend my position, which only makes the problem worse. Sympathy only tends to aggravate the crying and it is impossible to stop once it starts. I am a twenty-four-year-old graduate student, and I don't seem to be growing out of it. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

I'm desperate (a permanent state, I suppose, not only for me, but also for most of my fellow human beings). I've forgotten the reason why I'm on this Planet. My life seems so senseless, eating, sleeping, going to work, hobbies, of course, while all around me, the world is tumbling down. How do I put some meaning in my life?

I was wondering what types of SSRIs would work best for social anxiety and panic attacks so I can discuss with my general practitioner? I know different ones work better than others for this problem, but I'm not sure. I don't find that my current medication helps much. Thanks so much!

Last year I was Teetering on the Brink and this year I've fallen off of it. The teetering individual who was worried about how much she thought about food and her weight has turned into a very scared person who has fallen off the brink, with little on her mind but what she eats, when she eats it, and how she looks. I haven't had my period for almost a year and exercise compulsively until I can't anymore, when my legs simply hurt so bad and my knees won't hold me up. Worse, I seem to be losing bladder control — several times when I've been very tired, I've wet the bed at night or been unable to wait until I got to a bathroom. I can't live like this anymore and every morning I promise myself I'm going to change but then night rolls around and I've not changed a thing. Please tell me something that will help — I never knew desperation's face was this thin.

My best friend and I got into a fight. It's been a month and he won't speak to me. He says that he needs time, but that's the one thing I can't give him. I feel so hopeless and I've gone back to cutting after being clean for 11 months. I'm just so sad all the time and it just hurts — so much more than I know how to describe. And I know I shouldn't allow my happiness to be dependent on another person, but it is because he was the only one that actually cared. And I just don't know what to do. I can't bring myself to go to see psychological services and I tried calling hotlines, but I just can't go through with it. I'm trying to move on, but I just want the pain to stop. I miss him so much. And I apologized profusely, but he doesn't care. He doesn't care and I can't handle it. I'm just so upset and I just need help. I don't know what to do.

It's past Thanksgiving vacation and I am still not happy my first year at college. I don't feel like I have a solid routine and yet I feel like I'm in a rut. I have a few friends but they're not really people I want to spend my next four years with and I feel like the cliques have already been decided and I have trouble running up to people and introducing myself anyway. I'm bored all of the time and I sleep an ungodly amount of my life away, and all the literature says that I should be adjusted and having a swingin' time by now. And I'm not. I just want to take control of my life and make it, y'know, START, but I don't have the energy and I wouldn't know where to begin anyway.

I think I have severe PMS. I get so angry at times that I want to throw things and hit. I have no patience with my kids. It only lasts a couple of weeks, but I am worried I might hurt my children. I always manage to stop myself and leave the room, but what happens if I can't stop myself next time?

Please help.

I am a senior who will soon (hopefully) be graduating with a BA in Anthropology. During my freshman year, I chose my major because I thought it would be interesting to study. Now I realize how completely useless a degree in Liberal Arts is unless you also go to graduate school and get at least a Masters, if not a PhD. I don't want to go to school anymore!

While I enjoy my major and feel like I've learned a lot, sometimes I think I should have just majored in business, engineering, or some other "real" major that would have helped me get a job. I feel like the last few years have been completely for nothing, and find it very difficult to motivate myself to finish, or even start, any schoolwork during this last year. I'm beginning to not even care if I graduate at all.

For a long time, I have managed to persevere through some really messed up situations with family, friends, and life without seeing a counselor. It is not that I hold a negative opinion of counseling; it is that I can't afford it. I've hung tough; I'm a little proud of that. I've survived.

I am a recent college graduate relocating to a new city. I would like to seek counseling when there to work through a lot of these issues, but I frankly do not see how I would be able to afford it. Would you have any recommendation as to where I (or anyone in general who might have this problem) could locate free or low-cost counseling?

Also, while I understand many jobs include counseling as part of a health plan, this may or may not be an option for me (and others), so I would appreciate any alternatives to what you might suggest. Thank you for providing such a service to the Internet at large. You're really a godsend.

I have a very strong aversion to certain food textures such as potato (mashed, chipped, roasted, etc.), that causes me to gag violently. I am 22 years old and have a BMI of 16 which I blame in part to my very unbalanced diet. I am constantly lethargic but am eating three good portion meals a day. I was wondering if there was a way to get over this sensitivity as I am eating cereal without milk every morning, plain pasta for lunch and a pizza for dinner every day, I am looking to be a lot healthier with my life.

I am a 22-year-old male grad student, now starting my second semester at in graduate school. I have been doing very well academically, but my studies and my work-study job leave me absolutely no time for a social life! I have not been on a date since I got here; though I meet a lot of interesting people, and am in the habit of collecting their phone numbers. However, I can never seem to find any time to spend with them. Sometimes this really depresses me. I have noticed that I have lately been smoking much more heavily than I used to.