I'm a first year college student. Since the holidays I started experiencing a very strong horrible feeling; so horrible I preferred to die than to keep on feeling it (the suicidal thoughts come and go still, but it's not as strong as in the beginning). It's very puzzling though because I don't have a reason to feel like this, not one that I know of at least.

I thought of going to a psychologist, or psychiatrist, but I don't have money to do so, and I thought that maybe I should try curing myself first. Is there any way to try to fight depression by myself? Also, if I don't have a reason to feel depressed, what reasons could there be for what's happening to me? I read in other things you wrote to people that depression may be also caused by chemical imbalances in the brain. How do I know if that's happening to me?

1) For the past year now, I have been getting sharp chest pains. Sometimes it feels like I am about to have a heart attack. I find it painful to breathe for the couple of seconds that it happens. The sharp pains occur mostly in the lung/heart area. However, I have also felt them in the lower chest area as well. I don't know what is causing this.

Also, it occurs most frequently during the school year. I should also note that during the school year, I tend to eat greasy fatty foods. However, I had my cholesterol level checked (95) which is low. These pains come any time of day, while I am sleeping, walking, sitting, etc. I am 21-year-old female, if that helps.

By the way, I have a doctor's appointment back home later this month. But I want to have an idea why this happening. Others mentioned to me things about stress, something about a dog's heart, and I was even thinking that it might be cancer.

2) I've recently been experiencing chest pains in the sternum area. Although I don't believe it is related to heart trouble, I think the pain is originating from the bones or muscles attached to the sternum. I have seen doctors but most are clueless as to where the pain may be specifically originating. An interesting side is that during times of stress, the pain is more severe and concentrated at specific points along the sternum. One hypothesis is that the pain may be related to an injured sterno-manubrial joint. If indeed this is the case, what therapy is available to a poor, uninsured student? My mental health is being affected since my once pumped-up, rock hard body is slowly atrophying since I can't lift weights without extreme pain. I'm depressed because the size of my chest is now smaller. What do I do? What's wrong with me?