Showing 1 - 25 of 28 results

Will I ever find a gay partner?

I've been gay all of my life, and until just now, I've learned to accept it. I've told all my friends that I am gay. Some of them didn't like that, and now they're not my friends. None of my other friends are gay, which was a disappointment because I had a crush on one of them. Now I don't know what to do because not only do I not know who else is gay, but I don't have the courage to ask someone out. I'm afraid that if I can't ask someone out by the time I'm out of college, I'll never be able to have a relationship. I don't want to have to resort to online dating either. I want to know how I can overcome my fear.


How can I stop seeking sexual attention?

I am afraid my need for sexual attention is getting out of hand. The past several weekends I have wound up kissing guys in bars, and I find myself less interested in flirting or having interesting conversations with them than I am in getting that rush of meeting someone new. This weekend I had sex with a guy I had just met in a bar and I have no idea why. Making matters worse is that he was much younger than I am and I don't think we had anything in common whatsoever. I feel like I am devaluing myself and I don't want to lose my self-respect. How can I find the cause of my behavior and how can I stop?


Why do nice guys always finish last?

Just a quick question: why is it that nice guys always finish last? I've tried being nice all my life (nineteen years) to women, yet I get nothing. Yet if some guy who treats them really badly comes in, they're the ones who end up with a girlfriend — and me with squat. What's the deal?!


Was this a one night stand or more?

My friend and I went to a male strip club last Saturday. One of which caught my eye. I would have chickened out if the guy we were with hadn't gone over to him and brought him back. We talked for a while and then went back to my friend's house — I was so attracted to this guy I could have died. We started to fool around and things got heavy so he went out to the store (CONDOMS, CONDOMS, CONDOMS!!!).

He seemed very sensitive in the way he acted, letting me know that it would go only as far as I wanted it to, afterwards asking me about how I was doing, how I was feeling — he even started cooking the next morning. After breakfast, though, things got a little weird when he expressed that he wanted to see me again and I took his number, but didn't give him mine. Of course, I also told him that I'm living with a guy who I've been going out with, but that I am moving out in the next month — I felt that I'd better be honest...

How seriously should I take this guy? How much of what he told me should I believe? Do you think that this guy just has sex and moves on? I didn't initiate the subject of seeing him again, although I would totally be into that. How should I handle the subject of the guy I live with??? HELP!!!


How can I get over fear of rejection in romantic pursuits?

I am an undergrad who knows many people at my school. Interestingly enough while I am a very outgoing person and a very self-confident person, I am very shy when it comes to initiating a relationship. I know that I simply am afraid of the big "R" (rejection). I know that this is normal, but I feel that my fear is possibly causing me to miss out on a chance of having a good relationship.

I have been asked out a few times this year, but the guys did not interest me at all (one was divorced with two kids, the others I found nice but dull). All my friends are male, and I talk to them about my problems, but it hasn't helped at all. How can I gain self-confidence in the area of romance (I don't have a problem once I am in a relationship), and why is it that all my friends are males? Am I seen always as the sister or mother type? (Don't get me wrong, I am not interested romantically in any of my friends.)


How can I tell the girl I've been hooking up with that I just want to be friends?

I'm a 25 year-old guy, average looking, and I think I have a normal personality. I met this very nice and pretty girl a little more than a month ago. Almost since the beginning, all she wants to do is go to bed and make love. This was great in the beginning, but, you and some guys out there may think I am crazy, I am starting to get worn out. I like her very much and we get along great in bed, but I want to date her just like my friends date their girlfriends, although my friends tell me they wish they had my problem.

Anyway, when I suggest going out, she shrugs her shoulders and says that she likes to be in bed with me. I'm sure that you get a lot of inquiries about how to move a friendship over to bed. Can you give me some advice about how to move the bed over to a friendship?


What should I do if I'm interested in my nurse practitioner?

I am a graduate student and have been using Health Services for a number of years. On recent visits, I couldn't help but notice a certain nurse practitioner on whom I now have a big crush (pardon the school-kid terminology). On my last visit through walk-in, luck would have it that I got this person to treat me (a random happening--I didn't choose it in any way). I felt somewhat awkward during the visit, yet happy to see this person. Nonetheless, I realize that this is not an ideal state of affairs, but I don't know how to handle it. I am due to return to this same N.P. for follow-up.

Should I tell this person that I feel awkward receiving medical treatment from someone I would rather be dating, or should I just make an appointment with another person? Would it be possible to seek medical attention from this person after letting them know how I feel? If I do end my medical relationship with this person, how would I begin a different one? There don't seem to be many occasions when students and the Health Service staff interact outside a medical setting. I would hate to pass up the possibility of meeting that someone special due to professional constraints that would not hold had we met under different circumstances.


How can I start dating?

I am beginning my sophomore year in college. Last year, I was disappointed to not become friendly with any women. I have been back a week and I'm looking to turn my situation around. I would like to start dating once and for all. Any suggestions?


How can I find someone who understands my sobriety?

I am an ex-hardcore drug user — speed and cocaine to heroin — with 25 months of sobriety from drugs and alcohol. Now that I do not go out to clubs or party, I am finding difficulty in relationships.

Women do not understand why I do not drink. When they ask, I tell them where drugs and alcohol have gotten me in the past. This always seems to scare them off.

I feel guilty not telling them that I used to be an intravenous drug user, but when they ask about the tattoo on my arm that symbolizes a promise to myself never to inject again. I am honest about what it stands for. I never shared needles, I have been tested for AIDS/Hep-C and all of the tests have returned negative.

I am having difficulty finding someone that understands.


What can I do if I have no time for a social life?

I am a 22-year-old male grad student, now starting my second semester at in graduate school. I have been doing very well academically, but my studies and my work-study job leave me absolutely no time for a social life! I have not been on a date since I got here; though I meet a lot of interesting people, and am in the habit of collecting their phone numbers. However, I can never seem to find any time to spend with them. Sometimes this really depresses me. I have noticed that I have lately been smoking much more heavily than I used to.


How can I find a girlfriend?

I am a college grad who has always had trouble finding a girl to have a romantic relationship with. I have had only one real relationship during my junior year in college and it ended before the point in which we would have had sex. (Alas, I am still a virgin!). The other day my older brother (by one year) and I were talking about this and he advised me to be more aggressive. (I am admittedly somewhat shy). However, I fear that it may be something more basic than that. I used to not think that my brother was that much better looking than me but seeing girls walk across a crowded room to talk to him on more than one occasion while I stood right beside and watched has changed my mind and affected the confidence I have in myself. I'm starting to realize that all the girls I am interested in don't see me as attractive. Without even asking, I can see it in their eyes: "Let's just be friends." If my problem is lack of physical charms maybe I should set my sights lower.

What do you think??


How can I have a relationship that's not just based on sex?

I've had a great time at college, but all my relationships have been based on one thing... sex. Sometimes it is all that I want, but sometimes it is all that she wants. Any suggestions on how to find a "nice girl," just to have a good honest relationship with? I'm a model so I don't have problems meeting girls, just keeping them! I am also a very nice person, concerned with nature and I could never hurt a person's feelings if I tried. This leads to problems, however, because it is hard for me to "make my move" for fear of upsetting the girl. I have never been turned down for a first date — plenty of second dates though, but only because I make sure before the first date, through a friend, that there is an interest. If any of this makes any sense, give me a write!


Am I ready to start dating a new guy?

I have recently started seeing this man who I think is adorable and things are going really well. My last relationship was a three year nightmare that ended a long time before I finally broke it off. Everyone keeps saying to follow the rules and take it slow and to be careful because I am on the rebound and it is too soon to get involved. How can I know if what I am feeling is right and if I should just go with the flow? I am still feeling so new at all this stuff and I am often very scared to get hurt again. Please give me some of your expert advice!


What should I do if I'm attracted to someone besides my boyfriend?

I have been dating a guy for well over a year-and-a-half, and we really enjoy each other's companionship. We have a great friendship and a great sex life. The problem is that I am finding myself attracted to another person. I think this other person has a girlfriend. Furthermore, I don't want to have a relationship with this other person — it's just that I find myself dreaming about kissing him because he is so attractive. I know I'm crazy because everything is great in my relationship and people envy the relationship I have with my boyfriend. I just can't get this guy off my mind. What should I do?


Are other drinks besides water still hydrating?

I frequently hear that beverages with caffeine or alcohol are not good for replenishing fluids and preventing dehydration. But in reality aren't they just a bit less effective at hydrating your body than other beverages? In other words, if you were stuck in the desert with nothing to drink but beer, coffee and cola, would you actually be worse off and die of thirst sooner if you drank these beverages versus not drinking anything at all?


What’s up with the acid in my throat?

1) I have had acid coming up my throat from my stomach for the last 3 weeks. It comes up and just burns my throat. What is it? Do I have an ulcer? By the way, I get 3 hours of sleep a night, and my roommate doesn't help the situation.

2) I have recently asked you about my would be ulcer. I shall pose the question again. Lately I have this damn acid coming up my throat. I've been under a lot of stress and have strange sleeping habits. I am also drinking a lot of coffee. I drink about 5 cups of coffee a day and my roommate isn't exactly stress relieving. I go to bed about 3:30am and wake up about 5:45am for crew. Am I dying? Do I have an ulcer? What's wrong with me?


Where to meet fellow grad students

1) I am 24 and just started a part time Masters' program. My last relationship was two years ago and I find it pretty difficult at my age to meet respectable guys. I enjoy the bar scene with friends, but don't find that it's very easy to meet good people there.

Anyway, do you have any suggestions as to where to meet decent men at my school and in my age group?

2) As an incoming grad student, I have a rather obvious question, which is something troubling lots of people here, I'm sure. Since we rarely have any academic contacts outside our own departments, where on campus are the best places and/or methods to meet women? It is a little too pretentious to just start talking to them out of nowhere....