1) I have two friends who I think are drinking too much. I don't know what to do. They are very defensive should anyone say anything to them about their excessive habit, and a lot of our friends are giving up on them. This has become a daily thing and their schoolwork and friendships are all suffering. They are both 21; one recently broke up with his girlfriend of several years and the other has been single for a while and he hates it. I know that has a lot to do with it. Please suggest some non-intrusive ways to help them. I'm really at a loss.

2) Last year, I became very good friends with a guy on my floor. He was a little out of the ordinary in the way he dressed, as well as in some of his opinions and habits. I had the feeling that he did drink more than he should, and he also did pot. I did not worry too much about it because it appeared to be more of a lifestyle choice than an addiction, and it did not cause him major troubles.

Unfortunately, he started to have academic problems. He did not do his work, missed classes, and eventually exams as well. I still did not relate these things to his alcohol and drug habits, and I hoped that once he got over the adjustment everyone needed to make in freshman year, he would be fine. Well, he wasn't. He did not come back to school this fall, and when I called him, I learned that he had gone through a lot that summer. He was diagnosed with depression and a cocaine addiction, put on Prozac, and sent to therapy. At that point, I thought that he was on the right track because he was also going to get a job and planning to take classes at a nearby college.

However, when he came to visit me a month later, he had already had two beers before he even came here and got more and more drunk as the evening progressed. I would not let him drive home, but he ignored my warnings and left anyway. I was very disturbed because a friend of his had just been in a drunk driving accident. I was very mad at him, told him clearly that I will always be his friend but prefer not to talk to him or see him if he showed up drunk again. He did not call for a while and neither did I. When he called me yesterday and I told him that I thought he should do something about his alcohol problem, he kept repeating his excuses, that he drinks because he is Irish, that he doesn't care if he dies early as long as he had fun in life, etc. On the other hand, he can't find a job and seems to be very depressed. I want to help him, but I don't know how. Any ideas?

I'm a college student who is struggling with the decision on when to see a doctor for treatment with my depression symptoms. I believe that I need to get treated for depression, but I'm just as scared about not getting treatment as I am about starting antidepressant drugs in my current lifestyle. As far as I can tell, I'm exhibiting the classic symptoms of depression, and have been for a while — frequent crying fits, days where I lose all motivation, and sometimes, even thoughts of suicide. But I drink frequently, almost every weekend, and use marijuana occasionally, and I am quite unsettled by the possible interactions between antidepressants and these other substances. In my day to day life I do very well — I hold a good GPA, have good relationships and a good social life, function well most of the time, and stay in shape for sports. I don't intend to change my lifestyle significantly to make room for depression treatment. But when do I need to get help? I don't want to force an unnecessary change on myself, but I don't want to put myself in danger from depression, or even worse, from the drug interactions between antidepressants and alcohol or weed. What is the tipping point?