How can I learn how to recover from my eating disorder?

I have been bulimic for six years now. I have tried so many times to quit, but I always fail. When I eat I feel guilty about it sooo much that it is impossible not to purge. I feel so helpless. My boyfriend walked in on me the other day, and the look on his face broke my heart. I REALLY want to recover, but I need help. And I have no idea where to go. I will be a starting college this September, but I don't want to wait that long. I want help now.


Can you tell me more about the efficacy, safety, and legality of Cannabidiol (CBD) oil?

I recently heard about CBD oil - that it can be effective for chronic pain and anxiety, both of which I've struggled with (and seen many specialists about) for years. But when I went looking for more information, I couldn't find many resources that looked like they came from legitimate, trustworthy sources. Can you shed some light on the subject?


Are genes involved in schizophrenia?

My father has schizophrenia. My great grandmother was manic-depressive. What are the genetic risks of my child being schizophrenic if I have one? Are there any tests that can be done either before becoming pregnant or prenatally to determine probability? Has a gene been found linked to schizophrenia?


Am I a pedophile?

For my entire adult life (the past four years), I have been sexually attracted to young girls. I think about being with one often when I masturbate, and have intense sexual fantasies involving 8 to 14 year old females. I have yet to act on my feelings, NOR DO I WANT TO! I know it is wrong to have sex with a minor; I know that it violates them and totally scars them emotionally for life. I know that a child can NEVER consent to sex. But... I still have these fantasies. I'm afraid to tell a therapist about this, but I know that's what I should do. Would a therapist tell the cops or something? I haven't broken any laws... but still, what would a doctor say or do? I want more than anything else to be normal, and have healthy relationships with women, but I'm so afraid of them. I feel as though I'm a moth, and adult women are fire... they may look nice, but if I get too close to them, they'll burn me. But little girls... they just seem more real. I have never had an intimate relationship with anyone in my life. I have never been on a date, never kissed, never even held hands. But then again, I've never asked a woman out either. I'm just so afraid of women. I think that might be why I like little girls. I guess what I want to know is... should I tell a shrink, or will that only make things worse?


What causes spontaneous tripping?

I want to know what it is when you spontaneously trip without dropping tabs or anything. I've never had any drugs except marijuana. It is weird. I know that tripping is an induced psychosis, so am I psychotic or what? I was seeing a shrink and will be going back into treatment next semester. I think substance use is boring and a complete copout on life. I've made a lot of discoveries without needing to trip. Why does this happen? Tell me what you know.


Do I need to see someone about my soap eating obsession?

I'm going to cut right to the chase. I eat soap. It makes me feel good, especially when I'm stressed. Well, I don't sit there eating whole bars at a time, but I do take little chunks off to nibble sometimes. Only bar soap though, the all natural ones (I like the taste).

Am I going to have long term side effects from doing this? Please answer back, I don't see a lot of research on this, even though I've heard of quite a few other people that do this. Is it necessary for me to talk to a professional about this?

It seems kind of silly, I was just wondering.


What is my risk of postpartum depression as a mom-to-be with social anxiety disorder?

I'm an anxious person. My clinical diagnosis is social anxiety disorder, but I have anxiety in many other situations and a couple of phobias to boot. I've seen therapists on and off for the past 20 years and have been on multiple SSRIs (I am off of anti-anxiety medications currently). I manage my anxiety with plenty of exercise, sleep, and relaxation exercises, but mostly I just accept that this is the way I am. My husband and I are starting a family soon, and my new worry is post-partum depression or anxiety. If I'm already moody, will the hormones and stresses of pregnancy drive me completely crazy? Does having a history of mental illness put me at a greater risk for developing a disorder like post-partum depression? Thanks for your help!


How can I eat more fruits and veggies as a particularly picky eater?

This may sound a little weird but... I've never eaten an apple, never tried an orange, won't eat a salad, won't even taste a grape. I'm scared of fruits and vegetables. I don't know what it is, I haven't touched a fruit or vegetable since I was force fed baby food by my mom. When I was 8, I was pressured into trying a banana and I threw it right back up.

To make matters worse, I refuse to eat animals, this is more recent. I've been vegetarian (I guess you would call it that, but I don't eat vegetables) about a year now. I eat Boca burgers and meat substitutes and take one-a-day vitamins, but that's now 3 food groups that I'm lacking.

I want to be healthy. I don't wanna die when I'm 30 years old, but I just can't make myself eat fruits/vegetables. Is there ANYTHING that I can do??