Showing 1 - 19 of 19 results

Was I molested?

I really don't know what to call my situation. Some people say I was molested, others say I was sexually assaulted in the third degree, and others call it sexual misconduct. But when I was thirteen years old, I was touched by a fifteen-year-old boy on the bus for six months. I didn't want this or invite it. I would often fight and say no. He used to fondle my thighs and go into my pants. What is this called? Please e-mail me back.


How can I deal with disapproval of my interracial relationship?

My question is about interracial relationships. I came here from a really small town, very conservative — well, you get the idea. Now, my second week in, I met the most wonderful man. Only he is black. We have been dating now for over a year. He treats me wonderfully but I still get odd looks from people and my parents really don't approve.

I told them it shouldn't matter what color his skin is if I love him, but their small town values seem to say otherwise. How can I cope with the odd looks and my parents without losing my man?


Where can I find support as an adult child of an alcoholic?

1) Are there any adult children of alcoholics groups on campus?

2) My father is an alcoholic and I've been told that I should stay away from drinking altogether. I'm a freshman this year and it seems like most of my friends always want to go to keg parties or hang out and drink. Sometimes I drink with them, but then I feel guilty and worried afterwards as I think about my dad. It's hard to avoid alcohol here, but I don't want to follow in my father's footsteps either. Any advice or support you can give would help. Thanks.


What should I do if my religious parents find out I'm changing faiths?

I need some good advice. All my life, I've been raised as a Catholic. Both my parents are fairly religious, but I have completely lost interest in Catholicism as a religion because I feel it does nothing for me but preach and tell me how to live my life. It has now gotten to the point that I have become very interested in alternative religions, so much so that I want to change faiths. However, I'm terrified my parents will find out. What should I do?


How can I forgive myself after being sexually abused?

I am now 20 years old. When this situation took place, I was 16 or 17. I was living with this family that went to my church, and the lady's husband kept coming on to me. At this time, my parents were divorcing and I was depressed. I was so scared of this man because he was a giant compared to me. He kept asking me if he could touch my thighs. I kept telling him no because it was wrong, but I didn't tell anyone. I wouldn't even eat at night because I was afraid he would try to rape me.

So one day I came home from church a little earlier than the others did. He came in and waited until I got out of the bathroom. He sat me down on a chair and he kept touching me. I was so in shock that I couldn't move. That day he entered me and I didn't push him away, but I was crying and felt sick. Later on that week, he came into the basement where I stayed, and he performed oral sex on me. I felt really bad, but then again I did enjoy it. I felt so confused and cheap because after he was done he left $100.00 on my table. I felt like a slut. Then after a few weeks of him not even looking at me, I decided to talk to him and tell him that I was sorry and that we couldn't do it anymore and that we had to ask God for forgiveness.

My question is was it my fault for being in this situation or is he at fault for taking advantage of me? I have forgiven him, but I still have to work on forgiving myself. To me that is a very hard task because he is one of the elders in the church. What should I do?


What can I do about the hate I have for someone who molested me?

I have a problem with hate. I hate my older brother. He molested me when I was young, and now I'm nineteen and I still have to live in the same house as him. My parents know what happened, but they just don't talk about it. I understand that it's hard to deal with. However, I never talk to my brother, and when I move out of my house, I don't plan on ever talking to him again. I don't think this is healthy, but there is nothing that I can do about my hate.


How can I tell my mom about my boyfriend and birth control?

I am 18 years old and have been dating my boyfriend for two and a half years. I love him very much! Well we started sleeping together when I was 16! I love him very much! I even recently got put on birth control! My family is very religious, but I want to tell my mother about us and don't know how. Can you help??


Should I get serious with someone from a different background?

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. He is perfect for me, I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend, and we really love each other. The problem is that we have really different backgrounds socially and economically.

I have the more traditional family, parents married for 26 years and we're blessed enough to be financially very well off. However, his family has had lots of problems financially. In addition, his father isn’t financially responsible and he cheated on his mother. Besides that, we are different ethnicities.

My parents tell me that I can't be serious about him — they are afraid that his problems with his family will become my problems when we get married. Also, I can't communicate with his parents since they don't speak English very well. Over the past few months I've become increasingly irritated at his family. I have expressed to him that I don't know if we can really become serious because I don't want to deal with his family in the future. Am I overreacting?? I love him so much, but I feel like I can't marry him because of his background. What should I do? Am I blowing his background out of proportion in regards to a possible future together?


Why am I still having trouble dealing with my parent's divorce?

I have been going through emotional problems lately. I have been crying a lot and thinking about my mom and dad's divorce and how I want them together. I don't understand why now, after all these years, it is bothering me. It has never bothered me till this past school year and nothing has happened in school either.

I keep thinking about how I will never know how it was to live with both my parents. On Christmas, I kept thinking about how I really only had one true Christmas with both of them together and I don't even remember it. People always say the younger the child is when parents get a divorce, the easier it is on a child, but for some reason, that's not true for me because I missed out on it all! All my friends have at least experienced their parents together, and I haven't and never will. They get along fine so it's not like they fight. I haven't told anyone about this and it is getting to the point I can't keep it to myself and can't stop crying. I don't know what to do anymore. I just don't know why it is bothering me twelve years after they got a divorce and how I can get it to go away. Please help.


How can I visit a gyno without my parents finding out I've had sex?

I recently had sex with a guy, and now I suffer extreme vaginal itching and white cottage cheese-ish discharge. This is driving me crazy! I'm afraid it might be Cervicitis, but I'm not sure. Also, I can't ask my parents to take me to a doctor because there is no way I'm telling them I've had sex! Is this even sex-related? PLEASE answer my question because I'm tired of sleepless nights worrying what this is. Please respond! Thank you so much!


Was it sexual abuse or just childhood exploration?

I am an 18-year-old girl and it is my first year in college. I am also involved in my first physically intimate relationship. At the beginning of the relationship, I was having a lot of problems with feeling sexually aroused and being physical with my boyfriend. It made me cry almost every time. Then, I remembered some experiences involving adult sexual behavior (both physical and conversations over the phone) with my best friend in first and second grade. I had not thought of these experiences in years, and the memories, even now, make me feel sad, scared, and sometimes guilty.

I remember being afraid to see her and being very upset as a child about what we did. I don't remember much, only very small snippets of what happened here and there. I went into therapy at school, and I can be intimate now without crying, but these memories still bother me and I just want to know what to call it. Is this child-on-child sexual abuse, or just little kids exploring?


Why am I having sex dreams about my dad?

I am having these really weird dreams. They start off with me flirting with an older gentleman and then it evolves quickly into heated sexual passion. The thing that is really disgusting about it is that the older gentlemen switches personalities from random strangers inevitably into my father. I'm really upset about this whole "Electra-complex" thing and it rudes me out. I always wake up when it starts getting too heated and then I feel really ashamed for having dreamt it.

I have a good relationship with my father, although sometimes I wish that he would pay more attention to other aspects of my life other than my schooling and career. Is there something wrong with me? I am happy in my relationship with my boyfriend, I have lots of friends who care about me, I'm doing very well in school, etc., but I don't know why these dreams are happening all of a sudden. PLEASE HELP! Where can I go to seek more answers?

Maybe I should also tell you that my boyfriend and I are very good friends and I love him to death, but sometimes the sexual spark isn't there as it was with prior boyfriends. I don't know if this is because we have been together for so long (about 5 years) or if I've just gotten old and crotchety, but then where do these dreams fit in?


Is it weird that I'm attracted to people older than me?

For some reason I'm only attracted men who are about ten years older than I am (currently 21). I drive my poor mother crazy, but whenever I try to date someone my own age I end up finding them naive, too eager, and/or boring.

My last boyfriend was a med school student, he and I were together for a little under two years and he's nine years older. My boyfriend now is an economist, ten years older. I mean to say that these guys are not dumb or unsuccessful, and it's not just about sex. It feels natural for me to be with someone older.

Am I just a pervert, or should my mother be more understanding? Or both?


How do I begin to talk with my children about sex?

I have three young daughters (ages 8, 6, and 3 years), and I know that it is about time to begin teaching them and talking to them about sexual issues. But my mother never talked to me about such things, so I really don't know where to begin. I do need to do it soon, though, because I was molested as a child and I don't want my girls to go through the same thing, you know, thinking they have no one to talk to about such things. Because my Mother never believed me when I told her that someone had molested me, I want my girls to be able to talk to me about anything. But I am very shy and easily embarrassed by certain issues, such as sex. How can I overcome this, and how do I spark a conversation about sex with a six-year-old, what should or shouldn't she know, and how can I explain things so she will understand? Same thing for the three-year-old.


How do I define my sexuality and tell my parents about my transgender partner?

I am a girl, in love with a transgender guy. He was born with the wrong parts, but is truly the kindest person I have ever met. I love him very much, but I am afraid to tell my parents. "Adam" may have been born a female, but he is now a male, and is planing on getting surgery to prove it. My parents are Christians, and I'm not sure they will approve of him. Does me liking Adam, and female to male transgender people, make me a lesbian? Or bi-sexual? My parents deeply disagree with these things and I am afraid to talk to them about Adam.


Why did my father abandon me?

My father left my mother before I was born. They had a good relationship and were happy, but then my mom became pregnant with me. She had trouble telling my father, who was only eighteen at the time, and said she didn't expect him to play a role in my life. So, he left.

I've never seen him or spoken to him in my life. I have no idea what he looks like or who he is and he seems to have no desire to have anything at all to do with me. In fact, he ditched town the day after he found out. I'm mad... I'm mad at my mother for making it so easy for him to leave and I hate that man for what he did. I'm still young and even I can't imagine deserting a child and leaving them without a parent for their entire life. But then maybe that's because I know how it feels and I would never put anyone through that kind of pain. As a girl, I suppose it's hard to understand. Perhaps you can help me to understand his reasoning?