Showing 1 - 19 of 19 results

Should I start a relationship with someone who has a terminal illness?

I recently met this guy who is amazing. We get along very well. I really like him, and I would love to have a relationship with him, but I found out that he has pancreatic cancer and only has three to five years to live. I just really don't know what to do. I think it would be considered screwing myself over by getting emotionally involved with someone who is going to die soon. But, I also feel for him, and I think everyone should have a chance at love. What should I do?


Should I come out as transgender?

I want to become a male but I'm trapped in a female's body. I recently saw "Boys Don't Cry" and everything Teena felt I felt. Becoming a male would make me truly happy but I'm hopeless and desperate for a first step to take. I only cross dress in privacy and around my close confidants. My mother would die if she found out. Lately I have been feeling suicidal over my complete and dire unhappiness and uneasiness. PLEASE HELP ME!


Who can I talk to about loss?

My father just died. I'm really depressed. I'm not looking for sympathy, so I haven't told any of my friends. I'm not on good terms with my family and that has made the situation all the more difficult. I feel like I need somebody to talk to, but I'm afraid to approach my friends. I know in situations like this people over-compensate by smothering the person with sympathy and attention. What I need is the exact opposite. I need to work this out on my own. Maybe someone that will be there when I want them to be. I'm not looking for the number of a hotline where I will just end up talking to a stranger. Nor do I want to talk to the counselors or any other strangers. You're the first person that I've said anything to about this. Who can I talk to about this?


Will I ever get over my grief?

Thanks very much for being here, for all us angst-ridden students of the world. My problem is that my father died two years ago from a heart attack that he suffered on his way to work. It was very difficult to comprehend his death. It seemed to be so unfair and arbitrary. I was angry. Very angry for a long period of time. I am over that now. I learned that anger is easier, more expedient to deal with than the nitty gritty of emotions.

While I was in England, the leader of the British opposition party died of a fatal heart attack. The news has devastated me. I keep thinking of the awful things that I went through when the same thing happened to me. Will I ever get over this?


How can I help my friend whose mom has cancer?

The mother of one of my best friends from high school was diagnosed with liver cancer a few months ago. She is quite ill and in a lot of pain. She's been in and out of the hospital lately and things don't look so good. My own father was diagnosed with prostate cancer a year and a half ago, but he is really doing quite well (with medication, treatment, etc.). My friend's mother will probably be dead within six months to a year, so I'm not going through an immediate crisis.

My question is: What things should (and shouldn't) I be saying to, and doing for, my friend? I try so hard to be there for her but I really don't know what she's going through. She is very matter-of-fact about the fact that her mom is going to die. But I'm sure there's something I could be doing, isn't there? I hate feeling like I'm actually making her feel worse! Could you give me some idea of what she might be going through right now and how I could help? Even if it's a method for taking her mind off it occasionally (if that's a good idea).


How can I work through the grief of a child's death?

My oldest daughter died in a motor vehicle accident seven months ago. I have a husband and three other daughters. I am very depressed. Some days I think I won't make it. Some days I don't want to. I know that my life has been changed forever, but what can I do to help ease the pain — and to help me "move on" with my life?


Is using rubber bands an alternative to self-injury?

In the past I have self-mutilated and recently there has been a lot of added stress to my life. I've heard about wearing a rubber band on your wrist as an alternative. I was just curious are there any downsides to this method, as an example I have been doing this for a week now and I have gotten a bruise on my hand, it probably isn't from me snapping the rubber band but I was just wondering if there is anything I should know about this method? Thanks


What can I do if I started cutting again after a friend's silent treatment?

My best friend and I got into a fight. It's been a month and he won't speak to me. He says that he needs time, but that's the one thing I can't give him. I feel so hopeless and I've gone back to cutting after being clean for 11 months. I'm just so sad all the time and it just hurts — so much more than I know how to describe. And I know I shouldn't allow my happiness to be dependent on another person, but it is because he was the only one that actually cared. And I just don't know what to do. I can't bring myself to go to see psychological services and I tried calling hotlines, but I just can't go through with it. I'm trying to move on, but I just want the pain to stop. I miss him so much. And I apologized profusely, but he doesn't care. He doesn't care and I can't handle it. I'm just so upset and I just need help. I don't know what to do.


How do I support a friend in crisis when we’re long distance?

I have this friend that is in a really tough place right now, especially because of quarantine and social isolation. Recently she has been heavily considering killing herself, she’s been having panic attacks, mental breakdowns, trouble with family, and also having terrible sleep paralysis causing her to not want to sleep unless she’s extremely tired. She has even tried to kill herself a few months ago by trying to overdose, and me and her usually talk every day and now she’s been responding less and less and it’s starting to worry me... At this point I just don’t know how to help her anymore than I have tried, if it weren’t for this quarantine I would just want to hug her to help keep her feeling safe. What do I do to try and help this friend of mine and keep her alive? Cause she just doesn’t think things will ever get any better, I really like this girl and I don’t want to lose her yet... once again, how do I help her out?


How long does mourning last?

I'm sorta new at this, but I'll give it a shot anyway. My dad died of a massive heart attack just over a year ago. I went through a pretty rough mourning period, but it didn't seem to last very long. My mom is still very much in mourning to this day. I guess my question is: How can you tell if you've mourned enough? And how can you tell if you're avoiding it?

They say the worst is over when the pain stops and the good memories start. But how do I know I didn't just skip to the good memories?


Why did my father abandon me?

My father left my mother before I was born. They had a good relationship and were happy, but then my mom became pregnant with me. She had trouble telling my father, who was only eighteen at the time, and said she didn't expect him to play a role in my life. So, he left.

I've never seen him or spoken to him in my life. I have no idea what he looks like or who he is and he seems to have no desire to have anything at all to do with me. In fact, he ditched town the day after he found out. I'm mad... I'm mad at my mother for making it so easy for him to leave and I hate that man for what he did. I'm still young and even I can't imagine deserting a child and leaving them without a parent for their entire life. But then maybe that's because I know how it feels and I would never put anyone through that kind of pain. As a girl, I suppose it's hard to understand. Perhaps you can help me to understand his reasoning?