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Should I start a relationship with someone who has a terminal illness?

I recently met this guy who is amazing. We get along very well. I really like him, and I would love to have a relationship with him, but I found out that he has pancreatic cancer and only has three to five years to live. I just really don't know what to do. I think it would be considered screwing myself over by getting emotionally involved with someone who is going to die soon. But, I also feel for him, and I think everyone should have a chance at love. What should I do?


Why can't I cry anymore?

For the last year or so, I haven't been able to cry anymore. And when I do, absolutely no tears come out. My eyes just water up, but there are no tears. Is this normal? Should I be worried?


Who can I talk to about loss?

My father just died. I'm really depressed. I'm not looking for sympathy, so I haven't told any of my friends. I'm not on good terms with my family and that has made the situation all the more difficult. I feel like I need somebody to talk to, but I'm afraid to approach my friends. I know in situations like this people over-compensate by smothering the person with sympathy and attention. What I need is the exact opposite. I need to work this out on my own. Maybe someone that will be there when I want them to be. I'm not looking for the number of a hotline where I will just end up talking to a stranger. Nor do I want to talk to the counselors or any other strangers. You're the first person that I've said anything to about this. Who can I talk to about this?


Will I ever get over my grief?

Thanks very much for being here, for all us angst-ridden students of the world. My problem is that my father died two years ago from a heart attack that he suffered on his way to work. It was very difficult to comprehend his death. It seemed to be so unfair and arbitrary. I was angry. Very angry for a long period of time. I am over that now. I learned that anger is easier, more expedient to deal with than the nitty gritty of emotions.

While I was in England, the leader of the British opposition party died of a fatal heart attack. The news has devastated me. I keep thinking of the awful things that I went through when the same thing happened to me. Will I ever get over this?


How can I help my friend whose mom has cancer?

The mother of one of my best friends from high school was diagnosed with liver cancer a few months ago. She is quite ill and in a lot of pain. She's been in and out of the hospital lately and things don't look so good. My own father was diagnosed with prostate cancer a year and a half ago, but he is really doing quite well (with medication, treatment, etc.). My friend's mother will probably be dead within six months to a year, so I'm not going through an immediate crisis.

My question is: What things should (and shouldn't) I be saying to, and doing for, my friend? I try so hard to be there for her but I really don't know what she's going through. She is very matter-of-fact about the fact that her mom is going to die. But I'm sure there's something I could be doing, isn't there? I hate feeling like I'm actually making her feel worse! Could you give me some idea of what she might be going through right now and how I could help? Even if it's a method for taking her mind off it occasionally (if that's a good idea).


How can I work through the grief of a child's death?

My oldest daughter died in a motor vehicle accident seven months ago. I have a husband and three other daughters. I am very depressed. Some days I think I won't make it. Some days I don't want to. I know that my life has been changed forever, but what can I do to help ease the pain — and to help me "move on" with my life?


Are there eye exercises for improved vision?

My question is regarding eye exercises. I am short sighted and wear my glasses constantly. Recently I came across some eye exercises which claim that they can help you restore your vision. Their reasons seem convincing. But if this were true, why do the majority of people with poor vision still wear glasses. I just want to know if it's possible to restore your vision by doing these exercises? If not, is there any other way to restore vision without undergoing surgery? Finally, is there any way to ensure that my eye sight does not get any worse?


Are there preservatives in saline soltion safe?

As an avid contact wearer, I use saline solution to rinse my contacts daily before each use. Recently, a friend told me that many commercial saline solutions contain preservatives, which could affect the overall health of my eye. Is this something I should be concerned about? The saline I use has always felt comfortable so I never thought it could pose a problem.


Which type of contact lenses are better?

I read that disposable contact lenses are actually worse for your eyes than the normal one-year ones because they allow less oxygen to go to your eyes, and the only advantage is that there are less cleansing problems. Also, it is claimed that inadequate oxygen to your eyes (possibly caused by prolonged wearing of contact lenses) leads to a condition when extra blood vessels sprout around the iris, which leads to sight problems at old age. Is that true?

I am very concerned because I normally wear (one-year) contact lenses from 8am to 8pm, and maybe to 12am during reading periods. I don't feel very comfortable with glasses because they give distorted visions and fatigue. I thought switching to disposable contact lenses would do my eyes good. My current lenses contain 38 percent water. Is this good enough?


Will honey lighten the color of my eyes?

My eyes are light-brown, and when I've been crying or when it's bright outside they look greenish. I want my eyes to be that greenish all the time. I heard that putting honey in your eyes will lighten them. Are there any side effects? Is it bad for my eyes?


How long does mourning last?

I'm sorta new at this, but I'll give it a shot anyway. My dad died of a massive heart attack just over a year ago. I went through a pretty rough mourning period, but it didn't seem to last very long. My mom is still very much in mourning to this day. I guess my question is: How can you tell if you've mourned enough? And how can you tell if you're avoiding it?

They say the worst is over when the pain stops and the good memories start. But how do I know I didn't just skip to the good memories?


Why did my father abandon me?

My father left my mother before I was born. They had a good relationship and were happy, but then my mom became pregnant with me. She had trouble telling my father, who was only eighteen at the time, and said she didn't expect him to play a role in my life. So, he left.

I've never seen him or spoken to him in my life. I have no idea what he looks like or who he is and he seems to have no desire to have anything at all to do with me. In fact, he ditched town the day after he found out. I'm mad... I'm mad at my mother for making it so easy for him to leave and I hate that man for what he did. I'm still young and even I can't imagine deserting a child and leaving them without a parent for their entire life. But then maybe that's because I know how it feels and I would never put anyone through that kind of pain. As a girl, I suppose it's hard to understand. Perhaps you can help me to understand his reasoning?


Is it safe to rub my eyes?

I find it relaxing, along with rubbing my face, to rub my eyeballs (with my eyelids closed, of course). It feels good to massage the muscles and squeeze out the air that builds up back there. Is this safe? Do I risk deforming my eyeballs and changing my vision?


Are darker sunglasses worse for your eyes?

I recently saw a health show on TV that said you should wear darker sunglasses because they filter more light. Previously, I had heard that darker sunglasses cause the pupil to open wider and make the eyes more vulnerable to harmful light; ergo, you should wear lighter sunglasses with good UV protection. I have very light colored eyes, so my eyes are especially vulnerable to harmful light anyway, which is why I really want to get this right. Can you give me a definitive answer on this one?