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Should I start a relationship with someone who has a terminal illness?

I recently met this guy who is amazing. We get along very well. I really like him, and I would love to have a relationship with him, but I found out that he has pancreatic cancer and only has three to five years to live. I just really don't know what to do. I think it would be considered screwing myself over by getting emotionally involved with someone who is going to die soon. But, I also feel for him, and I think everyone should have a chance at love. What should I do?


How can I prevent athletic performance anxiety?

I compete in an individual sport. The problem is that on the day of a major competition, I have really bad indigestion. Sometimes, I have to run to the bathroom every half hour for a bowel movement! Besides being annoying, disgusting, and a little embarrassing, this interrupts my competition and adds unneeded stress. Why is this happening and what can I do to prevent it?


Is it dangerous to hold in number two?

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years, and we've lived together for more than one, but I still can't do Number Two when he's in the house. It's not a problem during the week when we both go to our separate jobs, but on the weekends, it's usually just the two of us in the house all day (and night) Saturday and Sunday and if I feel the need to poo, I have to wait until Monday. My question is this — are there any adverse health issues I should be concerned about with waiting to poo? I know that holding your pee can give you bladder infections, but is there a similar issue with Number Two?


Who can I talk to about loss?

My father just died. I'm really depressed. I'm not looking for sympathy, so I haven't told any of my friends. I'm not on good terms with my family and that has made the situation all the more difficult. I feel like I need somebody to talk to, but I'm afraid to approach my friends. I know in situations like this people over-compensate by smothering the person with sympathy and attention. What I need is the exact opposite. I need to work this out on my own. Maybe someone that will be there when I want them to be. I'm not looking for the number of a hotline where I will just end up talking to a stranger. Nor do I want to talk to the counselors or any other strangers. You're the first person that I've said anything to about this. Who can I talk to about this?


Will I ever get over my grief?

Thanks very much for being here, for all us angst-ridden students of the world. My problem is that my father died two years ago from a heart attack that he suffered on his way to work. It was very difficult to comprehend his death. It seemed to be so unfair and arbitrary. I was angry. Very angry for a long period of time. I am over that now. I learned that anger is easier, more expedient to deal with than the nitty gritty of emotions.

While I was in England, the leader of the British opposition party died of a fatal heart attack. The news has devastated me. I keep thinking of the awful things that I went through when the same thing happened to me. Will I ever get over this?


How can I help my friend whose mom has cancer?

The mother of one of my best friends from high school was diagnosed with liver cancer a few months ago. She is quite ill and in a lot of pain. She's been in and out of the hospital lately and things don't look so good. My own father was diagnosed with prostate cancer a year and a half ago, but he is really doing quite well (with medication, treatment, etc.). My friend's mother will probably be dead within six months to a year, so I'm not going through an immediate crisis.

My question is: What things should (and shouldn't) I be saying to, and doing for, my friend? I try so hard to be there for her but I really don't know what she's going through. She is very matter-of-fact about the fact that her mom is going to die. But I'm sure there's something I could be doing, isn't there? I hate feeling like I'm actually making her feel worse! Could you give me some idea of what she might be going through right now and how I could help? Even if it's a method for taking her mind off it occasionally (if that's a good idea).


How can I work through the grief of a child's death?

My oldest daughter died in a motor vehicle accident seven months ago. I have a husband and three other daughters. I am very depressed. Some days I think I won't make it. Some days I don't want to. I know that my life has been changed forever, but what can I do to help ease the pain — and to help me "move on" with my life?


Why do my bowel movements change when I get my period?

1) I've suffered weird digestive things when I have my period. The way I have heard it explained in my MCAT class is that the same hormone that causes the smooth muscle of the uterus to contract unfortunately works on all of our digestive organs as well, particularly the large intestine. So that's how I've come to grips with the apparent confusion of the digestive processes during my period.

2) Does a person's menstrual cycle regulate her bowels in any way? I have had some problems. The week before I get my period, I have loose bowels and the week afterwards I am quite constipated. Is this normal? Is there anything I can do?


Is anal sex okay if I'm in remission from Crohn’s?

I have had Crohn's disease for 16 years and am in remission right now. Recently my boyfriend and I have been toying with the idea of anal sex, but I'm concerned about it given my health issues. I have a lot of thickening of the terminal ileum walls and worry that the "trauma" of anal sex could set off a flare up and be painful because of the narrowing. Any thoughts? I'm way too embarrassed to discuss this with my male doctor. Thanks!


Is hot sauce the source of my anal aggravation?

I enjoy my spicy foods. In fact, the spicier, the better. If I break a sweat when I'm eating, I've made a successful meal. I'm extremely active, physically, and I rarely get sick. I don't use tobacco, but I drink coffee daily. I average about two bowel movements a day, and I've found within the last week or so, blood on my toilet paper when I wipe my arse. Can the blood be caused by my spicy foods? I had my wife check out the area in question, and she says that it doesn't look like my rectum was bleeding (but it sure felt like it for about two minutes). I just wanted to know if the spicy foods can actually cause bleeding around there, and if so, does this mean that the bleeding could be caused in other places within my digestive system?


What can I do to stop having nervous bowel movements?

When I get excited about going to see the boy I love or nervous about hanging out alone with him, I have to poop. Everytime. My stomach gets really upset and it cramps and then I have to poop. In most cases it's diarrhea and I never feel like I'm okay by the time I have to leave. Is there something I can do about it to limit it or just stop it in general? I love knowing that I get to see him but I hate the baggage I get beforehand.


What’s up with the acid in my throat?

1) I have had acid coming up my throat from my stomach for the last 3 weeks. It comes up and just burns my throat. What is it? Do I have an ulcer? By the way, I get 3 hours of sleep a night, and my roommate doesn't help the situation.

2) I have recently asked you about my would be ulcer. I shall pose the question again. Lately I have this damn acid coming up my throat. I've been under a lot of stress and have strange sleeping habits. I am also drinking a lot of coffee. I drink about 5 cups of coffee a day and my roommate isn't exactly stress relieving. I go to bed about 3:30am and wake up about 5:45am for crew. Am I dying? Do I have an ulcer? What's wrong with me?


Does ingesting semen have a laxative effect?

1) I have asked this question to many sites with no response, but came (sorry:) ) upon your site which seems to be willing to post just about any question and answer them too, so here goes:

Is there a laxative effect of ingested ejaculate, or is it ALL in my head (oh gosh, another one :) )? I have found that when I ingest my own ejaculate, almost invariably within a matter of a few minutes, I have loose bowels.

2) My boyfriend and I have been exploring oral sex for a couple months — but I've only just noticed that when I swallow I seem to experience a bout of diarrhea within a couple hours of doing so. Is it normal to have diarrhea from swallowing ejaculate?


How long does mourning last?

I'm sorta new at this, but I'll give it a shot anyway. My dad died of a massive heart attack just over a year ago. I went through a pretty rough mourning period, but it didn't seem to last very long. My mom is still very much in mourning to this day. I guess my question is: How can you tell if you've mourned enough? And how can you tell if you're avoiding it?

They say the worst is over when the pain stops and the good memories start. But how do I know I didn't just skip to the good memories?


Why do some people gag when someone is vomiting?

Why is it that when a person vomits, it causes others to vomit — even when they don't have an illness causing it? Is this something triggered by the brain or is it something that happens by reflex (survival instinct) for someone to vomit since, perhaps, what the first person was eating may affect the second who vomits as well?