Showing 1 - 21 of 21 results

How can I support a friend with mental health concerns when I’m struggling myself?

1) This is more of a coping question. I am a first-year who applied for a single room over the summer and was denied. I figured that everything would be okay nevertheless. I tried to look at the situation as a character-builder. Well, that is not the case. My roommate is very depressed. I talked to the RA on my floor, but she didn't take any action, except to talk with her. Unfortunately, my roommate is so ashamed of what's happening that she denied the facts, and the RA believed her. No one except me has realized yet that she is sleeping most of the day and all of the night, and that it is indeed a real problem. I have expressed my concern to her and encouraged her to go to counseling services. She went a couple of times and then started canceling appointments left and right. I have worried about her, but I have no backup whatsoever, so there is really nothing I can do to help at this point. We get along relatively well otherwise.

Right now, the concern I have is that her depression is pulling me down, too. I literally have not been alone anywhere for more than two to three minutes in weeks. I wanted a single because it's a requirement that I spend some time by myself, and I'm going crazy these days. The lights are always out in the room, and I've noticed that I'm sleeping more than usual myself as the situation has progressed. Also, I am having to deal with some personal issues of my own this semester, and I simply don't have the energy to take care of someone else who desperately wishes that I would do so. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

2) I know that when a friend is depressed, it's important to reach out, discuss the issue, and be there for the person as much as possible. But that's quite hard to do when I myself have a history with depression — I feel as if her emotions are taking me back to a place that I don't want to go. I really empathize with my friend and feel her pain, but at the same time know that I'd be useless to both of us if I'm in the troughs too. How can I help without sacrificing my always precarious emotional equilibrium?


How to navigate relationship with gay roommate?

When I came to Columbia, my roommate and I got along really well. We still do. However, three weeks into the year, I learned that he is gay. I have no problems with this, I'd like to think that I'm open-minded — but can you give me some advice on how to handle this relationship?


Can I still sleep over now that my girlfriend has a roommate?

I have a problem. The problem is my new roommate. We didn't know that he was gay when we asked him to be our roommate because he went out with girls before he moved in. After a month of living with us he started going to gay night at the local clubs and then found this guy. It is a week later and when my other roommate came home from seeing his girlfriend he found condoms all over the place. He didn't even clean up his mess! What should we do? We still have to live with him for another year.


Why can't I cry anymore?

For the last year or so, I haven't been able to cry anymore. And when I do, absolutely no tears come out. My eyes just water up, but there are no tears. Is this normal? Should I be worried?


What can I do if I have no privacy to masturbate?

I used to always masturbate at least once a day before I came here to college. However, now that I have a roommate, I can never find time alone to masturbate. I feel a need to masturbate at least once a day, but now I can't go through with my urge every day. Thus I start thinking about masturbation during class, and it's really affecting my mind. I need to masturbate or else I can't function correctly. Please help me out. Maybe there is another means to get out my sexual urges.


How can I navigate conversations with my partner about his living situation?

At my school, there are three kinds of rooms: singles (one person in one room), doubles (two people in one room), and walk-throughs (two people in two rooms with a door separating them). My partner is living in a walk-through double with a friend of his. He lives on the inside room, which means I have to walk through his roommate’s room to get to his room. I hate it! I feel so guilty leaving my partner's room late at night and if my partner's roommate isn't home, I feel like I'm somehow invading his privacy by walking through his room. When we hang out, I get uncomfortable being intimate (or even just hanging out pantsless!) with my partner knowing that his roommate is on the other side of the door. There's supposed to be more privacy, but in some ways, it feels like we have less! My partner and his roommate haven't had any trouble with the walk-through arrangement... but I do. I feel weird talking to his roommate about guidelines and solutions because it isn't my room. How can I find ways to set guidelines and boundaries for this peculiar situation without making myself a huge nuisance?


Are there eye exercises for improved vision?

My question is regarding eye exercises. I am short sighted and wear my glasses constantly. Recently I came across some eye exercises which claim that they can help you restore your vision. Their reasons seem convincing. But if this were true, why do the majority of people with poor vision still wear glasses. I just want to know if it's possible to restore your vision by doing these exercises? If not, is there any other way to restore vision without undergoing surgery? Finally, is there any way to ensure that my eye sight does not get any worse?


How can I help a roommate with an eating disorder?

I am writing in hopes that your answer to this question will help other readers. A few years ago, when I was in college, I discovered that my college roommate was bulimic. My boyfriend and I found evidence in the mornings that she had been vomiting on a daily basis; she also developed weird eating habits (at 6 A.M., she would wake up and buy two pints of ice cream and eat it all, and then not eat for the rest of the day). We didn't know how to address the problem, and were afraid of hurting her. When we called the Health Service, they took the "my best friend is bulimic" line to suggest that I was bulimic instead! I didn't want to become the food "hall monitor" — are you eating? What did you eat today? etc. — but we tried to include her in healthy meals.

Eventually, some other stress factors in her life calmed down and her binge/purge behavior seemed to subside. However, I've always regretted that I couldn't attack this situation head-on. Do you have any advice for people that might be in a similar situation?


Are there preservatives in saline soltion safe?

As an avid contact wearer, I use saline solution to rinse my contacts daily before each use. Recently, a friend told me that many commercial saline solutions contain preservatives, which could affect the overall health of my eye. Is this something I should be concerned about? The saline I use has always felt comfortable so I never thought it could pose a problem.


How can I move forward with a homophobic roommate?

I'm a lesbian and I think that my roommate could be slightly homophobic. We have never really had a great relationship but now that I've come out to her, we don't talk much at all. How do I talk with her about this issue so that we can put it behind is without making it so awkward?


How can I sleep with my girlfriend without making my roommate uncomfortable?

My girlfriend and I both go to the same college and have been sleeping together for a while now, which has been easy because she has a room of her own. However, because of the way university housing worked out for next year, both of us are going to be living in doubles with roommates. We would like to continue sleeping together, but I realize that having a roommate could make this difficult. Should I approach my future roommate about the situation, and if so how should I go about doing so?


How can I tell my nosy roommate to step off?

I'm a junior in college and I live in a suite with five other girls. We are all best friends, except for one girl. None of us like her because she says anything that pops into her head (she told one of my suitemates, who is battling an eating disorder, that she looked pregnant), and she is constantly trying to find out gossip about us. After a night of fun, she will come into all of our rooms, and pump us for info (she hasn't gone out with us yet this year). She thrives on knowing gossip about anyone and everyone. My question is: how can we tell her to mind her own business and shut her mouth? Also: how can we tell her that we don't want her to live with us next year? Thanks for your help!


Which type of contact lenses are better?

I read that disposable contact lenses are actually worse for your eyes than the normal one-year ones because they allow less oxygen to go to your eyes, and the only advantage is that there are less cleansing problems. Also, it is claimed that inadequate oxygen to your eyes (possibly caused by prolonged wearing of contact lenses) leads to a condition when extra blood vessels sprout around the iris, which leads to sight problems at old age. Is that true?

I am very concerned because I normally wear (one-year) contact lenses from 8am to 8pm, and maybe to 12am during reading periods. I don't feel very comfortable with glasses because they give distorted visions and fatigue. I thought switching to disposable contact lenses would do my eyes good. My current lenses contain 38 percent water. Is this good enough?


Will honey lighten the color of my eyes?

My eyes are light-brown, and when I've been crying or when it's bright outside they look greenish. I want my eyes to be that greenish all the time. I heard that putting honey in your eyes will lighten them. Are there any side effects? Is it bad for my eyes?


Is it safe to rub my eyes?

I find it relaxing, along with rubbing my face, to rub my eyeballs (with my eyelids closed, of course). It feels good to massage the muscles and squeeze out the air that builds up back there. Is this safe? Do I risk deforming my eyeballs and changing my vision?


Are darker sunglasses worse for your eyes?

I recently saw a health show on TV that said you should wear darker sunglasses because they filter more light. Previously, I had heard that darker sunglasses cause the pupil to open wider and make the eyes more vulnerable to harmful light; ergo, you should wear lighter sunglasses with good UV protection. I have very light colored eyes, so my eyes are especially vulnerable to harmful light anyway, which is why I really want to get this right. Can you give me a definitive answer on this one?