Showing 1 - 25 of 34 results

How can I support a friend with mental health concerns when I’m struggling myself?

1) This is more of a coping question. I am a first-year who applied for a single room over the summer and was denied. I figured that everything would be okay nevertheless. I tried to look at the situation as a character-builder. Well, that is not the case. My roommate is very depressed. I talked to the RA on my floor, but she didn't take any action, except to talk with her. Unfortunately, my roommate is so ashamed of what's happening that she denied the facts, and the RA believed her. No one except me has realized yet that she is sleeping most of the day and all of the night, and that it is indeed a real problem. I have expressed my concern to her and encouraged her to go to counseling services. She went a couple of times and then started canceling appointments left and right. I have worried about her, but I have no backup whatsoever, so there is really nothing I can do to help at this point. We get along relatively well otherwise.

Right now, the concern I have is that her depression is pulling me down, too. I literally have not been alone anywhere for more than two to three minutes in weeks. I wanted a single because it's a requirement that I spend some time by myself, and I'm going crazy these days. The lights are always out in the room, and I've noticed that I'm sleeping more than usual myself as the situation has progressed. Also, I am having to deal with some personal issues of my own this semester, and I simply don't have the energy to take care of someone else who desperately wishes that I would do so. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

2) I know that when a friend is depressed, it's important to reach out, discuss the issue, and be there for the person as much as possible. But that's quite hard to do when I myself have a history with depression — I feel as if her emotions are taking me back to a place that I don't want to go. I really empathize with my friend and feel her pain, but at the same time know that I'd be useless to both of us if I'm in the troughs too. How can I help without sacrificing my always precarious emotional equilibrium?

Topics:

Mental and Emotional Health Relationships

Is my hair addicted to dandruff shampoos?

I have dandruff that responds well to over-the-counter shampoo. Ergo, I have been using the stuff almost exclusively for ten years. No brand in particular, sometimes zinc pyrithione (the blue stuff!), sometimes coal tar (the smelly brown stuff!). Anytime I switch to non-dandruff shampoo for like three to four days straight, I get my dandruff back. I worry that I might be addicted to dandruff shampoo. Should I worry?

Topics:

General Health

What can I do to take care of my very oily hair and skin?

Ever since high school, I've had very oily hair and skin, but it became worse in college. Now I'm in my mid-twenties and have to shampoo my hair about 10 times each day to get it clean. Then by evening it's already oily again. This isn't my scalp trying to moisturize itself after being over cleaned, because I've tried not washing it completely and it's even oilier the next day.

Are there any special shampoos or medications that help reduce oily skin? I've tried some facial products from my dermatologist, but they haven't reduced the oil production. This is an embarrassing problem and limits the overnight activities I can do, like camping or staying with friends.

Topics:

General Health

How often should I wash my hair?

The last time I was at the hair cutting salon, the person who washed my hair asked me if I washed my hair everyday. I said I did, and she said she could tell. I'm not sure what she meant by this, but please tell me how she could determine this, and what is the best overall practice for washing hair in terms of frequency. I'm interested in the health of my hair as well as the health of my scalp. Thanks for you help!

Topics:

General Health

Why is my wife losing hair?

My wife has noted that she is recently losing hair at a much greater rate than normal. She feels her hair is significantly thinner (less density of strands) than in the past. What could be the cause of this?

Topics:

General Health

How can I grow and strengthen my nails?

My fingernails fray and chip all the time. I have tried many different nail polishes and nail hardener but nothing helps. I've been trying to grow my nails for the past year and I just can't seem to get them to grow. My mother and older sister don't have any problems getting their nails to grow. Please give me some tips on how to make my nails grow stronger and fast.

Topics:

General Health Nutrition and Physical Activity

How to navigate relationship with gay roommate?

When I came to Columbia, my roommate and I got along really well. We still do. However, three weeks into the year, I learned that he is gay. I have no problems with this, I'd like to think that I'm open-minded — but can you give me some advice on how to handle this relationship?

Topics:

Relationships

What are the risks of gel and shellac nail manicures?

I love getting my nails done with a gel or shellac manicure. The polish doesn't chip at all and stays shiny for weeks. I'm just worried about the UV light used to seal the manicure - it is almost like a mini tanning bed for your hands. What are the risks? And are there any bad chemicals in the polish?

Topics:

General Health

Can I still sleep over now that my girlfriend has a roommate?

I have a problem. The problem is my new roommate. We didn't know that he was gay when we asked him to be our roommate because he went out with girls before he moved in. After a month of living with us he started going to gay night at the local clubs and then found this guy. It is a week later and when my other roommate came home from seeing his girlfriend he found condoms all over the place. He didn't even clean up his mess! What should we do? We still have to live with him for another year.

Topics:

Relationships

How can I control my body hair?

I'm only 18, but I have a lot of hair on my chest. I'm afraid of letting women see me with my shirt off because I don't want them to be turned off. How can I get rid of this rug and keep it under control without shaving daily? Also, is there away to slow down my beard growth? Shaving more than once a day can be very irritating to my face, but I hate looking so dirty.

Topics:

Mental and Emotional Health General Health

How can I have better hair?

1) I was born with thick and coarse hair. It all sticks up when it is short. I lose confidence when I notice that people always look at my hair. Is there any way I can make them softer? Will medication help?

2) I seem to have very untamable hair. I keep the hair on the side of my head really short because of this. It's not that my hair isn't uncombable or anything like that, but if the hair on my sides grow even the slightest they start sticking out at 45-90 degree angles to my head, and there is nothing I can do about (I've tried everything but STIFF STUFF....). I look at other people's hair and they don't even need to blow dry or comb it and it sticks firmly to the sides of their heads. Is there a reason why some people have such easy control over their hair? Is it something I'm eating or doing wrong? Thank you for any advice!

Topics:

General Health

What can I do if I have no privacy to masturbate?

I used to always masturbate at least once a day before I came here to college. However, now that I have a roommate, I can never find time alone to masturbate. I feel a need to masturbate at least once a day, but now I can't go through with my urge every day. Thus I start thinking about masturbation during class, and it's really affecting my mind. I need to masturbate or else I can't function correctly. Please help me out. Maybe there is another means to get out my sexual urges.

Topics:

Relationships Sexual and Reproductive Health

How can I navigate conversations with my partner about his living situation?

At my school, there are three kinds of rooms: singles (one person in one room), doubles (two people in one room), and walk-throughs (two people in two rooms with a door separating them). My partner is living in a walk-through double with a friend of his. He lives on the inside room, which means I have to walk through his roommate’s room to get to his room. I hate it! I feel so guilty leaving my partner's room late at night and if my partner's roommate isn't home, I feel like I'm somehow invading his privacy by walking through his room. When we hang out, I get uncomfortable being intimate (or even just hanging out pantsless!) with my partner knowing that his roommate is on the other side of the door. There's supposed to be more privacy, but in some ways, it feels like we have less! My partner and his roommate haven't had any trouble with the walk-through arrangement... but I do. I feel weird talking to his roommate about guidelines and solutions because it isn't my room. How can I find ways to set guidelines and boundaries for this peculiar situation without making myself a huge nuisance?

Topics:

Relationships

Is there a connection between Depo-Provera and hair loss?

I have taken three Depo-Provera shots. My hair started falling out excessively several months ago. In looking for answers I found out that this is a side effect to the shots. I was not informed of that before I took the shots. I saw in one of your Go Ask Alice! answers that depo-provera suppresses the Follicle Stimulating Hormone and the Luteinizing Hormone. What is this hormone? Is this what makes my hair fall out? And do you know if there is anything I can do to stop it? My next shot is due by May 15 but I am not going to get it. Thanks.

Topics:

General Health Sexual and Reproductive Health

How can I help a roommate with an eating disorder?

I am writing in hopes that your answer to this question will help other readers. A few years ago, when I was in college, I discovered that my college roommate was bulimic. My boyfriend and I found evidence in the mornings that she had been vomiting on a daily basis; she also developed weird eating habits (at 6 A.M., she would wake up and buy two pints of ice cream and eat it all, and then not eat for the rest of the day). We didn't know how to address the problem, and were afraid of hurting her. When we called the Health Service, they took the "my best friend is bulimic" line to suggest that I was bulimic instead! I didn't want to become the food "hall monitor" — are you eating? What did you eat today? etc. — but we tried to include her in healthy meals.

Eventually, some other stress factors in her life calmed down and her binge/purge behavior seemed to subside. However, I've always regretted that I couldn't attack this situation head-on. Do you have any advice for people that might be in a similar situation?

Topics:

Nutrition and Physical Activity Relationships

How can I move forward with a homophobic roommate?

I'm a lesbian and I think that my roommate could be slightly homophobic. We have never really had a great relationship but now that I've come out to her, we don't talk much at all. How do I talk with her about this issue so that we can put it behind is without making it so awkward?

Topics:

Relationships

How can I sleep with my girlfriend without making my roommate uncomfortable?

My girlfriend and I both go to the same college and have been sleeping together for a while now, which has been easy because she has a room of her own. However, because of the way university housing worked out for next year, both of us are going to be living in doubles with roommates. We would like to continue sleeping together, but I realize that having a roommate could make this difficult. Should I approach my future roommate about the situation, and if so how should I go about doing so?

Topics:

Relationships
Showing 1 - 25 of 34 results

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