Showing 1 - 25 of 54 results

Is it normal for straight men to masturbate together?

1) I'm a 21 year old male virgin. I have a male friend the same age. Every now and then we watch an X-rated movie together and masturbate at the same time and in the same room. We have done this for a number of years. We are both straight. Is this a normal act for men or not?

2) I'm male and eighteen. I have known my best friend for over two years now. He is the same age, and we are roommates in college. We are straight and love women. But every now and then we will sit beside each other and masturbate each other before we go to bed. Is this normal? Or is there something wrong? Should we be doing this at all?


When are colds contagious?

When is a person with a cold contagious? A couple of friends, who are put off when I keep my distance from their sneezing and coughing, insist one is only contagious a week or so before symptoms appear. In the back of my memory is the idea that one remains contagious until a few days *after* primary symptoms disappear. I'm not usually so concerned about this, but I'm coping with a couple of other annoying health problems and want to try to avoid adding a cold or flu, to boot. I do the usual things news shows recommend — eat well, wash hands frequently. But when should one avoid others who have colds, or when should one stay isolated at home when one has a cold (or flu)?


Should I be worried about COVID-19?

I've been hearing a lot on the news about the new virus [novel coronavirus, COVID-19] and I'm seeing students on campus wearing masks. The news seems to have conflicting information and I'm not sure what to do. Should I be worried? Do I need to wear a mask too? Thank you.


Should I get the meningitis vaccine?

1) I'm a college student and I've heard in the media that meningitis vaccine shots are recommended. How do I get more information and a shot?

2) As a parent of a college freshman this fall, I was concerned about the increasing publicity that Meningitis has received recently over the networks. Since the population most likely to be infected includes young adults living in close quarters, do you recommend vaccination and where is it available?


Why is mpox being spoken about as if it's a gay STD?

So I'm wondering some stuff about mpox. Why is mpox being spoken about as if it's a gay STD? Mpox can be spread through nonsexual contact and fomite transmission, according to health authorities, and many other diseases such as the flu and corona can be obviously spread through sexual intercourse (via close contact). Additionally, according to the CDC, Ebola can be spread through semen of a previously infected male a while after recovery while not symptomatic (which appears to be unlike mpox in which it's only spread while actively symptomatic and, although mpox is extremely severe, it doesn't last for more than several weeks) but Ebola isn't thought of as a STD (and of course Ebola can obviously be spread through nonsexual as well as sexual contact) just like corona and the flu among many other diseases. Yet mpox is basically now thought of as being a STD — and a gay STD at that — whereas other diseases that also spread through nonsexual means like mpox aren't. This is very concerning to me both because it would be contributing to ineffective containment measures which would let mpox continue spreading and because it could lead to an increase in discrimination against an already marginalized demographic. What's going on here?


What can I do to stay healthy when taking care of someone sick?

My partner is always getting colds, sinus infections, and other nasties during cold and flu season. I've seen him through strep throat, stomach flu, and 16 months of sinus infection flare-ups. It's important to me to take care of him when he's ill, and I know he appreciates the help, but during the school year I get nervous about the risk to my own health and the potential for missing classes/work. What are some ways (short of wearing a mask...) to keep myself from catching all of his bugs without leaving him sick, sad, and lonely?


Can I bond with teammates without alcohol?

I am a freshman on a collegiate varsity sports team. Team gatherings, when we are not practicing, usually consist of excessive drinking with and without drinking games. I did not drink in high school and when I tried drinking with the team it made me feel really sick. I want to bond with my teammates (they are really great when not drunk) but I don't know how because if I am the only guy in the room not drinking I can't play drinking games with them, discuss favorite types of alcohol, or even carry on a real conversation because at a certain point in the night they stop forming coherent sentences. I need to be friends with this group of people but I would like to do so in a way that allows me to remember the night in the morning. Is this possible? What should I do?

While I don't really approve of their lifestyle (why devote six days a week to practice only to reduce your performance with alcohol?), I make no moral judgement. I don't want to change their way of doing things, I just want them to respect my way.


How can I support a friend with mental health concerns when I’m struggling myself?

1) This is more of a coping question. I am a first-year who applied for a single room over the summer and was denied. I figured that everything would be okay nevertheless. I tried to look at the situation as a character-builder. Well, that is not the case. My roommate is very depressed. I talked to the RA on my floor, but she didn't take any action, except to talk with her. Unfortunately, my roommate is so ashamed of what's happening that she denied the facts, and the RA believed her. No one except me has realized yet that she is sleeping most of the day and all of the night, and that it is indeed a real problem. I have expressed my concern to her and encouraged her to go to counseling services. She went a couple of times and then started canceling appointments left and right. I have worried about her, but I have no backup whatsoever, so there is really nothing I can do to help at this point. We get along relatively well otherwise.

Right now, the concern I have is that her depression is pulling me down, too. I literally have not been alone anywhere for more than two to three minutes in weeks. I wanted a single because it's a requirement that I spend some time by myself, and I'm going crazy these days. The lights are always out in the room, and I've noticed that I'm sleeping more than usual myself as the situation has progressed. Also, I am having to deal with some personal issues of my own this semester, and I simply don't have the energy to take care of someone else who desperately wishes that I would do so. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

2) I know that when a friend is depressed, it's important to reach out, discuss the issue, and be there for the person as much as possible. But that's quite hard to do when I myself have a history with depression — I feel as if her emotions are taking me back to a place that I don't want to go. I really empathize with my friend and feel her pain, but at the same time know that I'd be useless to both of us if I'm in the troughs too. How can I help without sacrificing my always precarious emotional equilibrium?


Do I need to stay home from class if I have chickenpox?

I've come down with chickenpox. Should I stay home from classes even though 90 percent of adults have already had it and are thus immune? If I take great care washing my hands and avoiding coughing anywhere but into the crook of my arm, will I be reasonably assured of not spreading it?


How do I talk about ableism without losing friends?

I have an invisible disability and I'm really getting into disabilities activism. Even in liberal circles ableism is still pretty accepted and this upsets me. However, when I try to educate people around me, it sometimes goes awry. I had one friend get upset when I called her out for using the word "retard." Another got upset when I pointed out that her Facebook post of inspirational people with disabilities (that just showed people with disabilities doing normal things) was a little offensive and tried to tell her about "inspiration porn." I get that using the word "retard" is normal as is "inspiration porn." I just don't think it should be.

I know my friends are caring, socially conscious people. I expect people to be a little upset, but ultimately I would also expect them respect the fact that it's really not OK to objectify people with disabilities in the way that inspiration porn and the use of words like "retard" do. What I want to know is how do I point out that people are expressing a harmful social bias, without having them get so upset that they write me off as an over sensitive concern troll?


Should I smoke?

Hi! Your site is very helpful. I have a few friends who smoke. We are friends since the past four years; they started smoking about a year ago. They tell me to smoke, I don't do it, so they call me a jerk. I have never TOUCHED a cigarette in my life.

Should I smoke?

If I smoke one cigarette about once a week, will it harm me in any way?

Will it make me a chain smoker?

Which is the safest brand of cigarette, health wise?


How contagious is measles and how is it spread?

A friend of mine is living with someone who might have just got measles (results pending). If true, and my friend has also got it, how contagious is it? I think it is measles, rather than German measles, which I had as a child. Does past illness provide any defense? That is, can you get it twice? I presume having had German measles does not provide any protection against measles.

How is it transmitted? Like a cold? (Physical contact, common contact with hard surfaces, and maybe airborne?)


What is proper gym etiquette?

1) When you are at the gym exercising do you need to wipe down each machine that you use even if you are not sweating?

2) I'm looking for some helpful pointers you might have on the subject of health club etiquette (i.e., don't wear perfume because others will leave workout equipment wearing your perfume). I would appreciate anything you have to offer on the subject.


How can I have fun without drugs?

I think it would be a good idea for me to stop smoking marijuana and cut down on my drinking, at least during the school year. The problem is, I have been doing it for so long it is almost as though I have forgotten how to have fun without it. Contributing to this problem is the fact that many of my friends smoke or drink to have fun. Many of my other friends just do not seem to have fun at all; they stay in Friday and Saturday nights to do work. I've found it difficult to quit, I think because I'm just not sure of what's out there to do that's fun without being stoned or drunk. Can you recommend anything that's fun whether you're intoxicated or sober, so that I don't have to stop hanging out with certain friends if I want to relax and have fun? I want to finally enjoy life without relying on an altered state of consciousness. What's there to do when you're sick of renting movies? Also, any tips for resisting the urge to take people up on their offer to toke up? (I'm never pressured into it, but it's like the dieter who's offered some chocolate cake — it's there, it looks sooo good, and the fact that other people are doing it makes it seem more "okay.") Thanks so much.


Can I hang with younger students?

I am over 26 years old but I still am an undergraduate student. I find myself constantly hanging out with people much younger than I am and I sometimes feel out of place. Is it wrong to hangout with a younger college crowd?


How can I handle all my friends dumping their problems on me?

I'm the peacemaker among my friends, the introverted listener. But lately I find myself dealing with my friends and their problems more than ever. The problems drift from abuse in their homes, relationship problems, suicide, and MORE! It seems like I'm walking around with the weight of the world on my shoulders — literally, and its making me dive headfirst into depression. Don't get me wrong, I like being trusted and thought wise for advice I give, but sometimes I know I'm just being used, and all I need to do is listen. But I also feel helpless towards many of the situations, example, drug abuse or violence in their homes. They're expecting my help most of the time! I can't suggest counselors, because it's un-thought of here, my friends usually have been to more than their fair share in their years, and it flat out doesn't work. Our school counselors are bogus, teachers really don't listen, and I'm a small girl who can't necessarily take on the world!! On top of trying to help friends of mine (close and not-to-close) I've got my own problems too! It's insane.


How can I get over my hosting anxiety when my friends come to town?

I am a New Yorker who is in college at the moment. Several of my friends from school are living and working in the city this summer, and I love having them around. Whenever I make plans with them, though, I feel a great pressure to make sure they have a good time. As the person who knows New York best (the subway, good restaurants, etc.), I feel like it is my responsibility to make plans and decisions when we go out, and I feel inordinately guilty or embarrassed if the plans ever go awry (e.g., if I mistake the address of a bar, if a restaurant turns out to be unexpectedly expensive, or even if the local subway line unexpectedly switches to the express — things that are often totally out of my control). I know this is silly; my friends can clearly take care of themselves, and I know they don't depend on me for fun. But the pressure that I create for myself is detracting from my own enjoyment. How can I stop holding myself to these absurd expectations and just enjoy myself?