Showing 1 - 25 of 29 results

How can I support a friend with mental health concerns when I’m struggling myself?

1) This is more of a coping question. I am a first-year who applied for a single room over the summer and was denied. I figured that everything would be okay nevertheless. I tried to look at the situation as a character-builder. Well, that is not the case. My roommate is very depressed. I talked to the RA on my floor, but she didn't take any action, except to talk with her. Unfortunately, my roommate is so ashamed of what's happening that she denied the facts, and the RA believed her. No one except me has realized yet that she is sleeping most of the day and all of the night, and that it is indeed a real problem. I have expressed my concern to her and encouraged her to go to counseling services. She went a couple of times and then started canceling appointments left and right. I have worried about her, but I have no backup whatsoever, so there is really nothing I can do to help at this point. We get along relatively well otherwise.

Right now, the concern I have is that her depression is pulling me down, too. I literally have not been alone anywhere for more than two to three minutes in weeks. I wanted a single because it's a requirement that I spend some time by myself, and I'm going crazy these days. The lights are always out in the room, and I've noticed that I'm sleeping more than usual myself as the situation has progressed. Also, I am having to deal with some personal issues of my own this semester, and I simply don't have the energy to take care of someone else who desperately wishes that I would do so. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

2) I know that when a friend is depressed, it's important to reach out, discuss the issue, and be there for the person as much as possible. But that's quite hard to do when I myself have a history with depression — I feel as if her emotions are taking me back to a place that I don't want to go. I really empathize with my friend and feel her pain, but at the same time know that I'd be useless to both of us if I'm in the troughs too. How can I help without sacrificing my always precarious emotional equilibrium?


Does sweating release toxins?

After practicing yoga in normal temperatures for years, I recently attended a heated yoga class (heated quite hot: 95 to 100 degrees!). The experience left me dizzy, nauseous, and completely enervated. Afterwards, I expressed my concern to the teacher, asking why the studio needed to be so hot. She "explained" that by sweating, supposedly the body releases "toxins" and that my nausea and dizziness must indicate that I need to "detox." Personally, I think I was suffering from heat exhaustion. I've heard this silly explanation more than once, as many people seem to believe toxins are released through sweat. But is that true??? And — next question — doesn't exerting oneself in extremely hot temperatures seem like a recipe for dehydration? Are their any benefits that make it worthwhile, or is all this heated yoga just nonsense?


How to navigate relationship with gay roommate?

When I came to Columbia, my roommate and I got along really well. We still do. However, three weeks into the year, I learned that he is gay. I have no problems with this, I'd like to think that I'm open-minded — but can you give me some advice on how to handle this relationship?


Can I still sleep over now that my girlfriend has a roommate?

I have a problem. The problem is my new roommate. We didn't know that he was gay when we asked him to be our roommate because he went out with girls before he moved in. After a month of living with us he started going to gay night at the local clubs and then found this guy. It is a week later and when my other roommate came home from seeing his girlfriend he found condoms all over the place. He didn't even clean up his mess! What should we do? We still have to live with him for another year.


Are there risks involved in hot yoga?

Hot yoga is becoming more popular every day but there is a lot of conflicting information regarding benefits versus injuries. Most of the information does not quote sources and is therefore is difficult to follow up on. It has unquestionably helped me become a more flexible person but there is a lot of information on the net regarding horrific injuries including slipped discs, muscle tears, neck injuries, emotional problems, and even strokes. Is there a research-based, or at least a factual breakdown on the health benefits of stretching at temperatures above body temperature versus the injury risk of exercising at temperatures above body temperature?


What can I do if I have no privacy to masturbate?

I used to always masturbate at least once a day before I came here to college. However, now that I have a roommate, I can never find time alone to masturbate. I feel a need to masturbate at least once a day, but now I can't go through with my urge every day. Thus I start thinking about masturbation during class, and it's really affecting my mind. I need to masturbate or else I can't function correctly. Please help me out. Maybe there is another means to get out my sexual urges.


How many rest days should I take between runs?

I wanted to know how many days of rest is recommended between workouts. I heard it was three days on to one day off...is this enough? I workout on a treadmill for 50 minutes every day and have for the last 14 months. I was not aware of how rest played a very important role until I recently read a brief article on it. I guess my question is, do I need to take that day of rest and how important is it?


How can I navigate conversations with my partner about his living situation?

At my school, there are three kinds of rooms: singles (one person in one room), doubles (two people in one room), and walk-throughs (two people in two rooms with a door separating them). My partner is living in a walk-through double with a friend of his. He lives on the inside room, which means I have to walk through his roommate’s room to get to his room. I hate it! I feel so guilty leaving my partner's room late at night and if my partner's roommate isn't home, I feel like I'm somehow invading his privacy by walking through his room. When we hang out, I get uncomfortable being intimate (or even just hanging out pantsless!) with my partner knowing that his roommate is on the other side of the door. There's supposed to be more privacy, but in some ways, it feels like we have less! My partner and his roommate haven't had any trouble with the walk-through arrangement... but I do. I feel weird talking to his roommate about guidelines and solutions because it isn't my room. How can I find ways to set guidelines and boundaries for this peculiar situation without making myself a huge nuisance?


How can I help a roommate with an eating disorder?

I am writing in hopes that your answer to this question will help other readers. A few years ago, when I was in college, I discovered that my college roommate was bulimic. My boyfriend and I found evidence in the mornings that she had been vomiting on a daily basis; she also developed weird eating habits (at 6 A.M., she would wake up and buy two pints of ice cream and eat it all, and then not eat for the rest of the day). We didn't know how to address the problem, and were afraid of hurting her. When we called the Health Service, they took the "my best friend is bulimic" line to suggest that I was bulimic instead! I didn't want to become the food "hall monitor" — are you eating? What did you eat today? etc. — but we tried to include her in healthy meals.

Eventually, some other stress factors in her life calmed down and her binge/purge behavior seemed to subside. However, I've always regretted that I couldn't attack this situation head-on. Do you have any advice for people that might be in a similar situation?


How can I strengthen my abs?

For as long as I can remember, I've been using my back muscles when I did sit-ups. In fact, I distinctly remember the first time we did them in second grade. After a few reps, it was already so painful that I was having trouble breathing properly. Being eight years old, however, I didn't realize this was a warning sign and assumed it was normal.

Flash forward ten years, and I have almost no strength in my abdominal muscles. I've tried to teach myself to do curl-ups properly, but no matter how hard I try, I can't even lift my head without using my back muscles. Exercise balls are no help either. Even when I concentrate on using my abs to keep myself steady, my back is still doing 95% of the work.

So, in short, I have two questions: Am I at risk for having damaged my back from years of abuse, and how can I work on strength training my abs now?


How can I move forward with a homophobic roommate?

I'm a lesbian and I think that my roommate could be slightly homophobic. We have never really had a great relationship but now that I've come out to her, we don't talk much at all. How do I talk with her about this issue so that we can put it behind is without making it so awkward?


Is it dangerous to not drink water during sport practice?

I have a question about dehydration. I am an eighteen-year-old female and play on a varsity basketball team. We usually have two-hour practices in which we work very hard. Our coach does not give us water breaks, and usually by the end of practice, we have cottonmouth and are "dying" for water. It is horrible. Is there any way that not having water during that time can be dangerous? Sometimes the team can feel sick or weak by the end of a practice.


How can I exercise with bowlegs?

I have bowlegs. It is quite frustrating because I cannot do exercises that isolate and tone the thighs (lunges, squats, etc). When I do squats, my pressure/force comes from the calves and the knees, but not the thighs. Reason being is that the legs are not properly aligned, and pressure/force cannot go up to the thighs. It even hurts when I do squats because they involve bending the (crooked) knees. Are there any alternative thigh exercises?


Can I be physically active while injured?

About five days ago while I was doing step aerobics I stepped down incorrectly and injured my foot. It turns out, after seeing the doctor, that I cracked a bone on the outer side of my foot and will have to wear a boot cast for about four weeks. My question is, since I can no longer do aerobics, what other kinds of exercises can I do to help me lose weight? I already do weights, abs, and any other type of leg exercise that don't involve me standing, but I don't feel that this is enough and since I am prone to gaining weight easily, I really want to do as much as I can but in a way that I don't aggravate my injury or make it worse.


How can I sleep with my girlfriend without making my roommate uncomfortable?

My girlfriend and I both go to the same college and have been sleeping together for a while now, which has been easy because she has a room of her own. However, because of the way university housing worked out for next year, both of us are going to be living in doubles with roommates. We would like to continue sleeping together, but I realize that having a roommate could make this difficult. Should I approach my future roommate about the situation, and if so how should I go about doing so?


How can I tell my nosy roommate to step off?

I'm a junior in college and I live in a suite with five other girls. We are all best friends, except for one girl. None of us like her because she says anything that pops into her head (she told one of my suitemates, who is battling an eating disorder, that she looked pregnant), and she is constantly trying to find out gossip about us. After a night of fun, she will come into all of our rooms, and pump us for info (she hasn't gone out with us yet this year). She thrives on knowing gossip about anyone and everyone. My question is: how can we tell her to mind her own business and shut her mouth? Also: how can we tell her that we don't want her to live with us next year? Thanks for your help!


Does frequent cycling cause reduced sexual sensation for women?

I have started spinning and I absolutely love it. Currently doing it about 3 times per week. My boyfriend says that spinning will cause permanent damage to my female genitalia, such as damaging the nerves, leading to reduced sensitivity and ultimately impeding my enjoyment of sex. I always wear the appropriate padded shorts. Is this true or not?


Is it possible to have testicles that are too large?

I'm on my school's track team and I don't know if I'm doing something wrong. When I run, my testicles seem to get in the way and are sore afterward. They seem too big. Is that possible? The jocks I've tried don't help much and we are issued stretch shorts that don't hide them well at all! It's embarrassing and sometimes it hurts to ride my bike, too. They have always been that size but is there something else I can do?


Why do my calves hurt when I walk?

I am a woman who has a family, full-time job, and a very busy life, generally.

Three years ago, I joined a local health club because I was not getting enough exercise. Since then, I have tried to work out three times a week. Every time I exercise on the treadmill, even though I am not running but only walking fast, I experience leg pain in the back of my calves. I have tried stretching to warm up but nothing seems to help. Do you have any suggestions? The pain in my calves is preventing me from increasing my speed and improving my conditioning. I would appreciate any suggestions you might have.