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Is it normal for straight men to masturbate together?

1) I'm a 21 year old male virgin. I have a male friend the same age. Every now and then we watch an X-rated movie together and masturbate at the same time and in the same room. We have done this for a number of years. We are both straight. Is this a normal act for men or not?

2) I'm male and eighteen. I have known my best friend for over two years now. He is the same age, and we are roommates in college. We are straight and love women. But every now and then we will sit beside each other and masturbate each other before we go to bed. Is this normal? Or is there something wrong? Should we be doing this at all?


Can supplements affect birth control effectiveness?

1) Is it true that taking those Emergen-C packets or any other vitamin supplements can effect the effectiveness of your birth control pill?

2) I know antibiotics can lower the effectiveness of birth control, but can probiotics or prebiotics, such as a floral acidophilus FOS, also decrease effectiveness? I've been taking birth control pills for the past 10 years with no scares or baby bumps, and I don't want to wake up pregnant one day because I took a capsule that's supposed to be healthy! :)


Can I bond with teammates without alcohol?

I am a freshman on a collegiate varsity sports team. Team gatherings, when we are not practicing, usually consist of excessive drinking with and without drinking games. I did not drink in high school and when I tried drinking with the team it made me feel really sick. I want to bond with my teammates (they are really great when not drunk) but I don't know how because if I am the only guy in the room not drinking I can't play drinking games with them, discuss favorite types of alcohol, or even carry on a real conversation because at a certain point in the night they stop forming coherent sentences. I need to be friends with this group of people but I would like to do so in a way that allows me to remember the night in the morning. Is this possible? What should I do?

While I don't really approve of their lifestyle (why devote six days a week to practice only to reduce your performance with alcohol?), I make no moral judgement. I don't want to change their way of doing things, I just want them to respect my way.


How can I support a friend with mental health concerns when I’m struggling myself?

1) This is more of a coping question. I am a first-year who applied for a single room over the summer and was denied. I figured that everything would be okay nevertheless. I tried to look at the situation as a character-builder. Well, that is not the case. My roommate is very depressed. I talked to the RA on my floor, but she didn't take any action, except to talk with her. Unfortunately, my roommate is so ashamed of what's happening that she denied the facts, and the RA believed her. No one except me has realized yet that she is sleeping most of the day and all of the night, and that it is indeed a real problem. I have expressed my concern to her and encouraged her to go to counseling services. She went a couple of times and then started canceling appointments left and right. I have worried about her, but I have no backup whatsoever, so there is really nothing I can do to help at this point. We get along relatively well otherwise.

Right now, the concern I have is that her depression is pulling me down, too. I literally have not been alone anywhere for more than two to three minutes in weeks. I wanted a single because it's a requirement that I spend some time by myself, and I'm going crazy these days. The lights are always out in the room, and I've noticed that I'm sleeping more than usual myself as the situation has progressed. Also, I am having to deal with some personal issues of my own this semester, and I simply don't have the energy to take care of someone else who desperately wishes that I would do so. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

2) I know that when a friend is depressed, it's important to reach out, discuss the issue, and be there for the person as much as possible. But that's quite hard to do when I myself have a history with depression — I feel as if her emotions are taking me back to a place that I don't want to go. I really empathize with my friend and feel her pain, but at the same time know that I'd be useless to both of us if I'm in the troughs too. How can I help without sacrificing my always precarious emotional equilibrium?


Are overcooked pasta and beans still nutritious?

I know if I cook vegetables too long, they would lose nutrients. How about pasta and beans? Do they lose their carbohydrates and proteins and other nutrients in them if I cook too long? I always cook pasta and beans for over an hour because I like nice and soft and plumed pastas and beans. Am I eating zero nutritious pasta and beans?


Is raisin bran a good source of iron?

I was recently turned away from a blood donation site for slightly low hemoglobin. I'm a menstruating woman and a vegetarian, so it wasn't a big shock. I'm trying to add more iron to my diet in the form of beans and cruciferous veggies and eggs (cooked on cast iron!), but I've run into some confusion. The pamphlet I got from the blood bank suggests raisin bran as a very good source of iron. Several health articles and studies I've found online also point to raisin bran, but others say that wheat bran inhibits iron absorption and should be avoided when trying to raise iron levels. Sometimes the conflicting information comes from the same source! Can you shed any light on this, Alice? Would a bowl of raisin bran a day help or hurt my iron intake?


How do I talk about ableism without losing friends?

I have an invisible disability and I'm really getting into disabilities activism. Even in liberal circles ableism is still pretty accepted and this upsets me. However, when I try to educate people around me, it sometimes goes awry. I had one friend get upset when I called her out for using the word "retard." Another got upset when I pointed out that her Facebook post of inspirational people with disabilities (that just showed people with disabilities doing normal things) was a little offensive and tried to tell her about "inspiration porn." I get that using the word "retard" is normal as is "inspiration porn." I just don't think it should be.

I know my friends are caring, socially conscious people. I expect people to be a little upset, but ultimately I would also expect them respect the fact that it's really not OK to objectify people with disabilities in the way that inspiration porn and the use of words like "retard" do. What I want to know is how do I point out that people are expressing a harmful social bias, without having them get so upset that they write me off as an over sensitive concern troll?


Should I smoke?

Hi! Your site is very helpful. I have a few friends who smoke. We are friends since the past four years; they started smoking about a year ago. They tell me to smoke, I don't do it, so they call me a jerk. I have never TOUCHED a cigarette in my life.

Should I smoke?

If I smoke one cigarette about once a week, will it harm me in any way?

Will it make me a chain smoker?

Which is the safest brand of cigarette, health wise?


Are there health concerns associated with consuming Sucralose (Splenda)?

1) What are your thoughts regarding the use of Splenda as a sugar substitute? I have heard that the body is not able to metabolize this and that it is excreted through the urine. Do you have any current research on Splenda and the side effects? I realize it is a relatively new product. Thank you!

2) I searched the archives and found no information on Splenda or sucralose. Lately, it seems like Splenda is gaining popularity in the crowded sugar-substitute category. It seems too good to be true — measures cup for cup like sugar, you can bake with it and mix it into drinks, and it is made from sugar so it really tastes like sugar. My two questions are... is this a safe product, or are there some disadvantages with the product? And secondly, if it is very safe and versatile, why aren't more companies using it now?


Am I eating good or bad fats?

I know it's necessary to have a certain amount of fat in your diet, but occasionally I hear about "good fat" and "bad fat." What is the difference? Is that the same as saturated/unsaturated? What foods have "good fat"? Can I tell by looking at the nutrition label on a food product which kind of fat I'm eating?


How can I have fun without drugs?

I think it would be a good idea for me to stop smoking marijuana and cut down on my drinking, at least during the school year. The problem is, I have been doing it for so long it is almost as though I have forgotten how to have fun without it. Contributing to this problem is the fact that many of my friends smoke or drink to have fun. Many of my other friends just do not seem to have fun at all; they stay in Friday and Saturday nights to do work. I've found it difficult to quit, I think because I'm just not sure of what's out there to do that's fun without being stoned or drunk. Can you recommend anything that's fun whether you're intoxicated or sober, so that I don't have to stop hanging out with certain friends if I want to relax and have fun? I want to finally enjoy life without relying on an altered state of consciousness. What's there to do when you're sick of renting movies? Also, any tips for resisting the urge to take people up on their offer to toke up? (I'm never pressured into it, but it's like the dieter who's offered some chocolate cake — it's there, it looks sooo good, and the fact that other people are doing it makes it seem more "okay.") Thanks so much.


Can I hang with younger students?

I am over 26 years old but I still am an undergraduate student. I find myself constantly hanging out with people much younger than I am and I sometimes feel out of place. Is it wrong to hangout with a younger college crowd?


How can I grow and strengthen my nails?

My fingernails fray and chip all the time. I have tried many different nail polishes and nail hardener but nothing helps. I've been trying to grow my nails for the past year and I just can't seem to get them to grow. My mother and older sister don't have any problems getting their nails to grow. Please give me some tips on how to make my nails grow stronger and fast.


How can I buy cheap produce and not let it go bad?

I know how important it is to get plenty of fruits and vegetables in one's diet, but I've been finding it difficult ever since I moved out to do so. I live by myself, on a fixed income, and I can only grocery shop once a week. Whenever I buy fruits and vegetables, they end up going bad three or four days after I buy them, and I feel like I've wasted them. Do you have any advice on cheap, vitamin-rich fruits or vegetables that keep for a good long time? Thanks!