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How can my non-disabled girlfriend feel confident in my sexual pleasure?

I am a quadriplegic of twenty years and need help with a problem my girlfriend and I are having with our sex life. The main problem is she feels guilty because she is the only one that gets "physical gratification" when we make love. We can't have intercourse but we have tried several other methods that worked great as far as her getting an orgasm, but the guilt sets in a few minutes afterwards. I have tried many times to explain to her that I also get a lot of enjoyment from our intimate times together, but she does not believe me. She thinks the only reason I want to fool around is just to give her pleasure and this is not true. Some of it does have to do with making her feel good, but I also get much pleasure, in a more "mental" kind of way that she can not understand. We live together, love each other very much, and plan to marry in a few months, but I'm scared this problem is going to get worse if she never believes me. I feel bad about marrying her if we can't have a satisfying sex life because I feel like I'm cheating her out of that part of her life.

If there is any way you could help me with this I would really appreciate it. If you know of any books on this subject that would also be a big help.

Topics:

Relationships Sexual and Reproductive Health

Is it better to spread out or binge alcohol consumption?

I am a healthy, fit, 18-year-old male. I have tried both ways: consuming small amounts of alcohol regularly (one standard drink a day) and consuming a lot of alcohol irregularly (10 to 20 standard drinks in one night, but only two days a month, or thereabouts).

I have tended towards drinking a lot irregularly because I have found that I can't notice any effects until I have had at least four or five drinks, 80 to 100 proof shots, usually mixed with soft drink.

I was wondering if either way was less healthy or more of a risk as the same amount of alcohol is ultimately consumed. Also, I noticed that I got a bit more of a 'beer gut' when I had one-a-day than 15 at once; is that likely or just my imagination?

Topics:

Substance Use and Recovery Nutrition and Physical Activity

How do I know if I'm ready for sex?

I am an 18-year-old virgin, but my boyfriend wants to have sex with me. We have been dating now for eight months, and he says he has been waiting long enough. I have this fear of having sex because of the consequences, but I try to tell myself that as long as I use protection, things like that shouldn't happen.

I'm not sure what I'm asking for; I'm not sure it's advice either. Right now I'm reasonably sure that I don't want to have sex, but this little voice (probably his) keeps asking "What's the big deal?"

I know it's not a big deal, but it's something I really believe in, and I want to wait. I only have one life to live and I want to do it right. I did a lot of things I ended up regretting, but this is really important to me. The only thing is, I have no problems fantasizing about making love to him. I just have trouble with carrying out the actual act. I really need to ask if you think my fear of sex is unnatural or just a product of the way I've been raised?

Is there any way I can get over all the horror stories of regret and painful first times and just give myself to the guy of my dreams?

Topics:

Relationships Sexual and Reproductive Health

Do you have suggestions for an effective, short-term weight loss and toning plan?

I am 18 years old and I am determined to lose a few pounds and tone my body by the end of May. I just began running and I'm starting off by running a mile and hope to work up to a four-mile run four or five days a week. My diet is generally a bowl of cereal in the morning, and a turkey or ham sandwich with some type of fruit and a bottle of water. Dinner is something different every day, but usually healthy. I also have been doing an ab workout for about seven minutes after I run. Is what I'm doing effective? What are your suggestions?

Topics:

Nutrition and Physical Activity

How can I cook for my partner who has different nutritional needs?

I have a job that is largely sedentary — mostly sitting in an office in front of a computer. My partner's work is very physically active. Since we've been living together, food and nutrition have increasingly become a source of stress and conflict. He needs big meals with lots of protein and calories, and I need better portion control with lots of vegetables. We're having real problems with shopping and menu planning. Since we've been living together, I've been gaining weight and he's been losing! Can you give us any advice or direct us to information on how to live and eat together while addressing both of our nutritional needs?

Topics:

Nutrition and Physical Activity Relationships

Am I under eating and overexercising?

I am very concerned about my eating and exercise habits. I'm a first-year, and since I got here last fall, I've lost about 35 pounds. I've been exercising almost obsessively and eating a rigid, low-fat diet. I try to eat about 2000 calories a day, but still feel hungry a lot (especially in the morning) and still seem to be losing weight at the rate of about a pound a week. I'm 6'0" tall and weigh 133 lbs. right now; my family and friends are all worried and although I keep telling them I'm not sick, I wonder if I am. I've seen a nutritionist in Health Services; she gave me some advice about good nutrition and what I should be eating, and I've been trying to follow her guidelines, but it's gotten very hard for me to know what is a "normal" diet. Am I anorexic? If I am, what can I do to help myself? I know I could never go to counseling; I'm too independent. Can you give me any advice?

Topics:

Nutrition and Physical Activity

How far does my penis go during sex?

My new girlfriend and I had sex for the first time this weekend. Later in the evening, she was curious about something... "Where is that thing going???" she asked. She mentioned that full insertion was painful and she wanted to know what I was hitting, and "how far does it go?" Being admittedly a bit rusty on my knowledge of the anatomy of the female body, I told her that I thought it went no further than the "uvula" (whatever that is), but that I would do a little research, maybe see what I could get off the Net and get back to her.

Topics:

Sexual and Reproductive Health
Showing 51 - 60 of 110 results

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