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How can I help my drunk friend?

Two questions on alcohol:

A friend has had a lot to drink, and they are on the verge of collapsing or throwing up, etc. I'm good at the emotional consolation stuff when people get upset, but what about what I should do physically?

Should they lie down, sit upon the floor, sit in a chair? Should they drink water? Should I get them to eat something? Should I take their wrists and make them wave their arms to keep blood rushing? Should I get them to walk? Should they be outside in the fresh air, or in the warmth? Where should I be, sitting side by side with them, sitting on the floor with my chest to their back?

Secondly, if I'm also drunk and I think that the atmosphere around me is getting aggressive, how can I accelerate sobering up to retain the role of a coordinator and get people sorted out?

Thanks if you can help.


Will I ever find a gay partner?

I've been gay all of my life, and until just now, I've learned to accept it. I've told all my friends that I am gay. Some of them didn't like that, and now they're not my friends. None of my other friends are gay, which was a disappointment because I had a crush on one of them. Now I don't know what to do because not only do I not know who else is gay, but I don't have the courage to ask someone out. I'm afraid that if I can't ask someone out by the time I'm out of college, I'll never be able to have a relationship. I don't want to have to resort to online dating either. I want to know how I can overcome my fear.


How can I stop seeking sexual attention?

I am afraid my need for sexual attention is getting out of hand. The past several weekends I have wound up kissing guys in bars, and I find myself less interested in flirting or having interesting conversations with them than I am in getting that rush of meeting someone new. This weekend I had sex with a guy I had just met in a bar and I have no idea why. Making matters worse is that he was much younger than I am and I don't think we had anything in common whatsoever. I feel like I am devaluing myself and I don't want to lose my self-respect. How can I find the cause of my behavior and how can I stop?


Why is drinking alcohol suddenly making me sick?

I have never had a problem with alcohol tolerances in the past. I could drink at least four or five drinks and be fine that night and the next morning. Now, I find myself getting violently sick after drinking just one or two. Even after a glass of wine I want to puke it up. Is there something physically wrong with me? I know the obvious solution is to stop drinking entirely. But, I shouldn't be this sick after drinking just one drink. Have you ever heard of this before? Can you help me figure out the problem?


Can I ask my girlfriend not to drink at college?

My girlfriend of about a year is going to college next year as am I but we are going to attend different colleges. We are about forty-five minutes apart in distance and we have no problem whatsoever in keeping the relationship and we plan on keeping it alive and healthy, but I have a problem with alcohol. I don't drink alcohol and don't ever plan on it but I am curious as to it being rude or improper to ask her not to? Is it my place at all to ask her that she not drink at college? I feel strongly about her in this situation. She doesn't drink but thinks she might like it... Is it fair or my place to ask her not to drink? Thanks, Alice...


Why am I craving alcohol after a blackout?

I recently had a very bad experience with alcohol poisoning where I blacked out for several hours and had a horrible hangover the next day. Many of my friends told me that when they had blacked out or even just gotten sick from alcohol, they did not want to drink again for weeks or months. One friend even stopped drinking altogether from such an experience. I am worried, though, because it is only one week after my terrifying experience and I am already craving alcohol again. Why hasn't my horrible experience turned me off to alcohol, while the day after, I swore I would never drink again because it had been sooo scary? I cannot be an alcoholic, because I only started drinking two months ago. What is wrong with me?


Why do nice guys always finish last?

Just a quick question: why is it that nice guys always finish last? I've tried being nice all my life (nineteen years) to women, yet I get nothing. Yet if some guy who treats them really badly comes in, they're the ones who end up with a girlfriend — and me with squat. What's the deal?!


Can I bond with teammates without alcohol?

I am a freshman on a collegiate varsity sports team. Team gatherings, when we are not practicing, usually consist of excessive drinking with and without drinking games. I did not drink in high school and when I tried drinking with the team it made me feel really sick. I want to bond with my teammates (they are really great when not drunk) but I don't know how because if I am the only guy in the room not drinking I can't play drinking games with them, discuss favorite types of alcohol, or even carry on a real conversation because at a certain point in the night they stop forming coherent sentences. I need to be friends with this group of people but I would like to do so in a way that allows me to remember the night in the morning. Is this possible? What should I do?

While I don't really approve of their lifestyle (why devote six days a week to practice only to reduce your performance with alcohol?), I make no moral judgement. I don't want to change their way of doing things, I just want them to respect my way.


Why do I still feel sick after drinking weeks ago?

I am a 23 year old female who enjoys a few glasses of wine but, in my opinion, doesn't drink more than the average college student. A few weeks ago, I had quite a bit to drink and haven't felt the same since. I am dizzy, forgetful, confused and my liver is very tender to the touch. I have continued to have a few glasses of wine a couple nights out of the week and it seems to be the only thing that gets me back to feeling "normal." Is this a normal way to feel or should I be concerned?


Does being a lightweight drinker have anything to do with my liver?

Does the classification of a "lightweight" with regard to alcohol consumption imply anything about the liver? In particular, is there anything abnormal about feeling tipsy after only one beer (vital stats = 155 lbs., 6 ft.). I know my family has a history of liver problems and I have in the past drank to excess on many occasions. It has never taken much to become inebriated and now it takes even a little less. Should I be worried?


Where can I find support as an adult child of an alcoholic?

1) Are there any adult children of alcoholics groups on campus?

2) My father is an alcoholic and I've been told that I should stay away from drinking altogether. I'm a freshman this year and it seems like most of my friends always want to go to keg parties or hang out and drink. Sometimes I drink with them, but then I feel guilty and worried afterwards as I think about my dad. It's hard to avoid alcohol here, but I don't want to follow in my father's footsteps either. Any advice or support you can give would help. Thanks.


Was this a one night stand or more?

My friend and I went to a male strip club last Saturday. One of which caught my eye. I would have chickened out if the guy we were with hadn't gone over to him and brought him back. We talked for a while and then went back to my friend's house — I was so attracted to this guy I could have died. We started to fool around and things got heavy so he went out to the store (CONDOMS, CONDOMS, CONDOMS!!!).

He seemed very sensitive in the way he acted, letting me know that it would go only as far as I wanted it to, afterwards asking me about how I was doing, how I was feeling — he even started cooking the next morning. After breakfast, though, things got a little weird when he expressed that he wanted to see me again and I took his number, but didn't give him mine. Of course, I also told him that I'm living with a guy who I've been going out with, but that I am moving out in the next month — I felt that I'd better be honest...

How seriously should I take this guy? How much of what he told me should I believe? Do you think that this guy just has sex and moves on? I didn't initiate the subject of seeing him again, although I would totally be into that. How should I handle the subject of the guy I live with??? HELP!!!


How can I get over fear of rejection in romantic pursuits?

I am an undergrad who knows many people at my school. Interestingly enough while I am a very outgoing person and a very self-confident person, I am very shy when it comes to initiating a relationship. I know that I simply am afraid of the big "R" (rejection). I know that this is normal, but I feel that my fear is possibly causing me to miss out on a chance of having a good relationship.

I have been asked out a few times this year, but the guys did not interest me at all (one was divorced with two kids, the others I found nice but dull). All my friends are male, and I talk to them about my problems, but it hasn't helped at all. How can I gain self-confidence in the area of romance (I don't have a problem once I am in a relationship), and why is it that all my friends are males? Am I seen always as the sister or mother type? (Don't get me wrong, I am not interested romantically in any of my friends.)


What are the negative side effects of absinthe?

I recently drank one shot of absinth(e) mixed with water at a party. I read up on it online and opinions differ vastly as to the potential for negative side effects. At this point my imagination has me suffering every possible one.

I would like to know the true possible effects and if one drink could realistically cause them. If it helps, the brand I had contained 100mg of thujone and it was Czech and I'm told they use an extract which is worse than using straight wormwood.

I hope you can help because I'm a little freaked out, the guy who gave it to me drank it extensively and recently committed suicide and I'm convinced the cause in part was the Absinthe.


Can I quit alcohol and cigarettes at the same time?

I have been a smoker for about 8 years and smoke about a pack per day. I am also an alcoholic and now drink about 7 to 10 beers a day, and have been for the past 2.5 years. Last night I decided to quit drinking beer every day and today I am already shaky, nervous, and can't concentrate. I want to quit smoking also so I can join the army. Is it dangerous to quit both at once? Would it be too much stress on my body and mind? And also, would having just one beer a day for the next couple days help with the withdrawal symptoms?


How can I tell the girl I've been hooking up with that I just want to be friends?

I'm a 25 year-old guy, average looking, and I think I have a normal personality. I met this very nice and pretty girl a little more than a month ago. Almost since the beginning, all she wants to do is go to bed and make love. This was great in the beginning, but, you and some guys out there may think I am crazy, I am starting to get worn out. I like her very much and we get along great in bed, but I want to date her just like my friends date their girlfriends, although my friends tell me they wish they had my problem.

Anyway, when I suggest going out, she shrugs her shoulders and says that she likes to be in bed with me. I'm sure that you get a lot of inquiries about how to move a friendship over to bed. Can you give me some advice about how to move the bed over to a friendship?