What should I do if I want to be a gay man though I'm a straight female?

I am a straight female in my mid-twenties. Well, not really. Ever since my childhood I have been fantasizing about being a male. Specifically, I increasingly fantasize about being a homosexual male and even have dreams of having male organs. I have a steady boyfriend that enjoys anal play which really excites me (I imagine myself having anal intercourse with him). Since I am not technically a male, I also enjoy watching homosexual intercourse and fantasize about watching my boyfriend with another man.

I feel like I am having sexual identity issues. Have you heard of anyone else having a similar experience? Do you think a bisexual partner would be ideal for me? Do you think role playing or three-way sexual experience would help me get satisfied?


Do I have to disclose my past HPV diagnosis?

I was diagnosed with HPV three years ago, it has since cleared — become undetectable. Since being tested and learning that I had HPV, I'd been in relationships and told my partners prior to having sex that I had it and we always used condoms. The last pap I got showed that the virus had become undetectable. I'm currently single and what I'm wondering is, if I have casual sex (with a condom, of course), do I have to tell the person that I've tested positive for HPV?


What should I do if we became intimate before I told him I have herpes?

I recently started dating a man. On the first date, we became intimate (which I did not plan on happening). The day after, I told him that things moved too fast and that maybe we should get to know each other before becoming intimate again. My big concern is that I have genital herpes, and have been faced with the problem of becoming intimate before sharing that I have herpes. I came up with a plan on how to share this info, but it didn't happen in this particular relationship. Now, I don't know what to do because I am worried that I have shattered the trust in this relationship. Should I just walk away from it and use it as a lesson on how to approach a relationship next time or tell him?


How do I feel more comfortable with a new sex partner?

First, I'd like to thank you for this service! It's been so informative to read the advice you've given others. I'm a female grad student and have just gotten into a relationship for the first time. I have a few questions regarding oral sex: my boyfriend loves to suck my nipples and I feel great when he's doing it, but after a while, my nipples start to feel tender and actually hurt sometimes... is this normal? He's not rough when he's doing it, so I'm not sure why this happens.

Also, when my boyfriend "goes down" on me, I worry about what he thinks of my smell and taste. He says he likes it, but I can't be sure... is there some way of finding out if my scent is normal? Can he pass any infections (to my vagina) from his saliva? (He has had only 1 one-night stand affair and he used a condom that time).

Also, I masturbate him (I stroke his penis) until he "comes," but I'm afraid of tasting his "come." He hasn't asked me to, but I think he would like it if I did... how can I overcome this inhibition? Are there any risks for me? I appreciate any help/advice... Thanks a lot!


Can I bond with teammates without alcohol?

I am a freshman on a collegiate varsity sports team. Team gatherings, when we are not practicing, usually consist of excessive drinking with and without drinking games. I did not drink in high school and when I tried drinking with the team it made me feel really sick. I want to bond with my teammates (they are really great when not drunk) but I don't know how because if I am the only guy in the room not drinking I can't play drinking games with them, discuss favorite types of alcohol, or even carry on a real conversation because at a certain point in the night they stop forming coherent sentences. I need to be friends with this group of people but I would like to do so in a way that allows me to remember the night in the morning. Is this possible? What should I do?

While I don't really approve of their lifestyle (why devote six days a week to practice only to reduce your performance with alcohol?), I make no moral judgement. I don't want to change their way of doing things, I just want them to respect my way.


Am I being teased or abused?

What is the criteria for determining if a relationship is abusive? My husband has never struck me in anger or injured me, but he is constantly poking, tickling, flicking me, etc. When I tell him to stop, he usually says, "Why should I?" and continues a little bit more. It's like a kid tormenting a little sister. He gets right in my face and sometimes pokes me in the chest while he's telling me something. There's never any anger until I get mad at him for doing it, and then he tells me he's just playing. The other night when I told him to stop poking me, he said, "I'll do whatever I want." That really bothered me. When he does get angry, he usually just ignores me, but occasionally he'll throw something (but not at me). What do you think? How can I make him understand that his "playing" is upsetting? Is this type of behavior a precursor of actual violence?