What can I do to prevent vaginal dryness during sex?

My problem is about vaginal dryness. I am an otherwise healthy twenty-one-year-old female, but cannot seem to get wet enough for pleasurable sex with my husband. We both get sore afterwards and I feel like I am not "performing" much like I would imagine a man would feel if he couldn't get an erection. Here's the thing, my husband doesn't want me to use artificial lubricants. Honestly I don't either. Are there any alternatives to K-Y? Is dehydration or draining enough fluids a factor? Any info would be of much help. Thanks so much.


Is my labia normal?

1) Are the inner lips of the vagina supposed to be "longer" OR "shorter" than the outer lips? Also, my right inner lip is longer than my left inner lip. Like, a lot longer. My right inner lip sticks out from my outer lips and is very visible. Is this abnormal? Thank you :]

2) Is it normal for the inner labia to be different sizes? One lip is somewhat "thicker" and has a lumpy looking edge while the other is thinner and straight. Plus, should they be closed together or do they open up a bit? Mine are closed together unless I pull them apart with my fingers.


Can I stretch my hymen?

I am (still!) a virgin and have a question about the hymen. I know mine is not entirely intact, because I did a lot of horseback riding as a child. But as I'm not a tampon-user (nor wish to become one), I'm not exactly sure how painful intercourse will be, for the first time, nor what will happen to the hymen.

I always assumed it was a thin membrane that, upon penetration, would shrink evenly to the sides. But I seem to have what you might call a flesh tab, and though I've looked at pictures offered in Our Bodies, Ourselves, I'm not sure I understand how an opening will be created, and have the horrifying idea that a piece of flesh is going to drop out or be torn right out of me. Is it normal to have a flesh tab? What will happen to it? And if I tried inserting a tampon, would that facilitate the tearing process? Please help.