How can my non-disabled girlfriend feel confident in my sexual pleasure?

I am a quadriplegic of twenty years and need help with a problem my girlfriend and I are having with our sex life. The main problem is she feels guilty because she is the only one that gets "physical gratification" when we make love. We can't have intercourse but we have tried several other methods that worked great as far as her getting an orgasm, but the guilt sets in a few minutes afterwards. I have tried many times to explain to her that I also get a lot of enjoyment from our intimate times together, but she does not believe me. She thinks the only reason I want to fool around is just to give her pleasure and this is not true. Some of it does have to do with making her feel good, but I also get much pleasure, in a more "mental" kind of way that she can not understand. We live together, love each other very much, and plan to marry in a few months, but I'm scared this problem is going to get worse if she never believes me. I feel bad about marrying her if we can't have a satisfying sex life because I feel like I'm cheating her out of that part of her life.

If there is any way you could help me with this I would really appreciate it. If you know of any books on this subject that would also be a big help.


Why did I get a false positive HIV test?

Dear Alice,

I recently had a routine HIV screening done for prenatal labs. It was positive. Thank GOD, western blot came out to be negative. My OB is reassuring me not to worry, that false positives sometimes come out in pregnancy, and as long as the western blot is negative — I'm negative. Could you explain a little more in detail as to why and if you agree with my doctor? I'm at very little risk otherwise and had a negative HIV test about five years ago and am with the same person (my husband).


Do I have a foot fetish?

1) I like to kiss my wife's feet. Do I have a foot fetish?

2) I get sexually aroused by feet. Am I a freak, or what?

3) I have two questions:

1. It's getting to be summer over here; I don't know if that's part of it, but why do so many people wear sneakers or sports shoes without socks? Is it a new style or something?

2. Does it mean I have a foot fetish if I get a "hard on" when I see other guys not wearing socks? I mean, I've seen the foot fetish web pages and I have no reaction to them (basically the same reaction as if I were reading a VCR manual). And, occasionally, I do get a really big "woody" when I go out in public barefoot in my high-top sneakers or see other people do it.